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husband in hiding

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1husband in hiding Empty husband in hiding Tue Jul 05, 2011 6:26 pm

pinay_me


Arresto Menor

Let me start this how I met my no missing (hiding) husband.

We met over the internet when I was 23 years old. Young and full of hopes. He was a computer engineer in the US and told me that he was single, never had a child and the likes. he was living then with his aunt (like what he said). we were chat mates, a constant phone pals (cellphone, skype an yahoo -- in everyday manner) from june of 2006 till october of 2008 (before he came here in the philippines). in short we had a relationship for more than 2 years before we personally met.

when he arrived here, he talked to my parents that he's gonna marry me, and so we did of november 2008.

he had no plans of going back to the states since he is also a filipino (only n immigrant of the US).

but only 2 months after the wedding (in civil), i started feeling strange of his actions. he gets busy chatting online with other girls (while i was at work, he's not working yet coz he said he wants to take a break from work for few months). i learned his chat logs because 1 ay he left one chat box open. he didnt know i saw it. so i started investigating. i started checking our home pc's logs.. and i was shocked.. coz he's telling every girl that he has a condo in makati (which we live in a house i loaned from pag-ibig and is named after me -- my single name). he's telling them that they should meet somewhere private and all. the girls agreed. so when there are days he started going out without telling me, i got super suspicious.

there are days that he tells me he would meet his cousins but when he arrives home he smells like a sweet candy. his body reeks of the girls perfume. which i hate coz am allergic to sweet smelly colognes or perfumes (thats why we dont have those at home, and it was not his). he also looked like he just got out of the shower and all.

this continually happened. i confronted him the month of april 2009 when i saw a message in my cellphone saying "teka mahal, maliigo lang ako. luv u". he used my cellphone before that message appeared.

i called the number. the girl even told me to be nice to my husband so that he wont be looking for another. my husband denied everything. of course i di not believe him. but for the sake that we are married i gave him another chance.

then came june, i saw an email left open in our computer. it came from the same girl asking for more money because her then live-in partner is not giving her money for their child. which also my husband replied that he will give her some just to wait a day or two.

my husband still does not work during those times. so meaning the money will come from me. he told me that his cousin borrowed money that how he spent the suppose to be money for our bills.

when he arrived in the philippines, he only had 150USD in his pocket and nothing more. in his baggage is a laptop, ipod and some junks he was able to include for the 25kg baggage allowance plus his old clothes.

meaning i supported him financially while we were together plus his other girlfriends.

about the email, its up to my limit. that was too much. i learned that the girl was only our neighbor. they live outside our subdivision. so i was really mad. i went straight to the girls live in partner. i talked to him. showed him their email correspondence. and and he too was so mad. good for him coz they were not married. but i am with the jerk.

so we got confrontation, the girl already eft the place even before i was able to talk to her live in partner.

my husband asked forgiveness and asked for another chance. he admitted everything. he even admitted that he gave her the money i gave him to buy things. and that they even checked in one time. (during this time, the girl is rumored to be pregnant) so i asked my husband about that and he was so sure in telling me that it was not his.

so i decided that we move back to my parents house. i am already sick then, stress and asthma and all.. so i was not working and that we dont have any more money. i asked my parents if we could live there for a while. they agreed.

and so i also talked to my husband that i think that it is better if he go back to the US coz there he can work with a nigher salary. but since we dont have money, we borrowed from what we call 5-6.
we borrowed 100k. for a promised that we will pay the said amount plus interest once my husband found a job back in US.

35k was used to buy his ticket back to US. 25k (changed to USD)for his pocket money. 5k for (in peso) to pay for travel taxes in the airport. some 15k ws used for my medicine. and the other was used for everyday expenses because his flight was not until after a month when we borrowed the money.

when he got back to US 9september of 2009), he was not able to find a job coz he was hold in the immigration for breaking the law. he didnt tell me that before he left US he was under probation for being included in a federal case that happened while he was working before he came to the philippines.

the more problems came in. he cant send money coz he cant work. so meaning the interest is piling up. i reluctantly went back to work even when my doctors told me not to, just to earn something and pay the interest of the borrowed money. from the day he left phillpines until now (july of 2011), im still paying the interest which is 20k a month. though i can only pay 10k because i dont have a big salary. he only sent me money twice (he borrowed from someone), in a total of 25k in may of 2010. then never again until now.

my title said "husband in hiding". because when i called his number in US last month, his mom told me that he already left the place (in vegas). and he does not answer any of my emails any more. the last time we talked ws april 2011.

now, his mom checked his phone bill records, and we learned that he is in the philippines since MAY. because in his bill appeared numbers that are called while his att phone was roaming here.

he has not contacted me yet. not even answering my emails and all..

i just want my life back. i want him to help me pay up even half of the amount we borrowed plus interest.

my questions:
1. can i file a case against him and made it public so that he will come out in hiding and make him pay his debt? if yes, how? and what case? where am i going to file the case if i dont know where in the philippines he is (coz i have no idea where he is)

2. can i fill nullity of my marriage to him if he (i think) purposely wrote another name of his father in our marriage contract (when we were filing it, i learned it from hismom that the name is not his real that)? if not, can i file annulment? how much will it cost? how long will it take?

to be honest, i dont want to spend any more money in relation to him. i want him to pay up the annulment since he is the one who's not (probably) interested in this marraige.

please help. im still young. i want to enjoy my life without this kind of problems that i dont deserve. thank you

2husband in hiding Empty Re: husband in hiding Tue Jul 05, 2011 6:47 pm

attyLLL


moderator

whoa, 20k a month for interest for a 100k loan? is this loan agreement in writing?

he is in the USA now?

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3husband in hiding Empty Re: husband in hiding Tue Jul 05, 2011 6:49 pm

lOst_StuDent


Prision Correccional

1. You can file for legal separation, abandonment and support against him. Since it's a civil case you can file it any Regional Trial Court. There's a way to serve summon for people in hiding. You can also tell his relatives, and I'm sure one way or another the news will reach him. Hopefully the court will divide the debt between you and your missing husband.

2. You can try annulment or nullity of marriage but not by the reason you stated. Perhaps there are other grounds. You can have your marriage history reviewed by a lawyer.

you are young and deserves to be happy. i'm sorry such a bad thing happened to you..

4husband in hiding Empty Re: husband in hiding Tue Jul 05, 2011 6:56 pm

pinay_me


Arresto Menor

attyLLL wrote:whoa, 20k a month for interest for a 100k loan? is this loan agreement in writing?

he is in the USA now?


yes it is in writing. it is 5-6. like from a bumbay. but this is from a neighbor whose business is to lend money. the thing is the borrowed money is under my name.

he's probably in the philippines coz his last call in his att phone bill says that he is roaming in the phils.

5husband in hiding Empty Re: husband in hiding Tue Jul 05, 2011 7:00 pm

pinay_me


Arresto Menor

lOst_StuDent wrote:1. You can file for legal separation, abandonment and support against him. Since it's a civil case you can file it any Regional Trial Court. There's a way to serve summon for people in hiding. You can also tell his relatives, and I'm sure one way or another the news will reach him. Hopefully the court will divide the debt between you and your missing husband.

2. You can try annulment or nullity of marriage but not by the reason you stated. Perhaps there are other grounds. You can have your marriage history reviewed by a lawyer.

you are young and deserves to be happy. i'm sorry such a bad thing happened to you..

i still have the emails they exchange with the other girl. chat logs and all with other girls.

i also once read from a chat log that he told this girl that his reason for marrying me is because my family cornered him. and that i am mentally ill.

can that be used when i file a case against him? i mean those chat logs, to file for annulment.

am still talking to his mom and that he is also hiding from her. he does not contact her anymore even though she is sick and old. (what a bastard of a husband and son, i know). his other relatives here in the philippines are also looking for him.

when in terms of filing a case, how much will it cost?

ive already paid almost half (of the interest only).. and still paying until he shows up.

how much does an annulment cost now?



Last edited by pinay_me on Tue Jul 05, 2011 7:11 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : addt'l info)

6husband in hiding Empty Re: husband in hiding Wed Jul 06, 2011 12:30 am

pinay_me


Arresto Menor

i have to add that while he was in US (before me knowing that he's in the philippines), he had a live in partner. i learned about it from his mom. and they were living from june 2010 until before his coming back to phils this MAY.

i just dont know what to do then coz when i ask someone about legal matters, he said (he's a lawyer) that we do not have any jurisdiction about his infidelity in another country.

please help po.. i want my marriage to be annulled and also make him pay for the debt he left me paying until now (it's been two years)

thank you

7husband in hiding Empty Re: husband in hiding Thu Jul 07, 2011 12:26 am

attyLLL


moderator

i recommend you take legal action to have the debt declared extinguished. 20% a month is unconscionable.

see here the grounds for annulment: http://www.pinoylawyer.org/t4792-grounds-for-annulment-declaration-of-nullity-legal-separation-and-separatio-of-property

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8husband in hiding Empty Re: husband in hiding Thu Jul 07, 2011 10:16 am

pinay_me


Arresto Menor

ive already paid 200k (in monthly mode) with the debt, but the lender is still asking for the remaining interest of 190k.

where can i go to get it extinguished atty?


regarding the annullment, where should i go first to file a case? i dont know where he is living here in the philippines. will he get notified? and will the case move on if he does not respond?

can i file concubinage against him using the pictures of him and the girl from las vegas that i have now? and also include the emails he exchanged with his previous mistress here?

add'l question:
if i ever find his whereabouts here, is it not illegal to follow him around to get proofs of his activies?

thank you. hoping for your reply.revious mistress here?

add'l question:
if i ever find his whereabouts here, is it not illegal to follow him around to get proofs of his activies?

thank you. hoping for your reply.




9husband in hiding Empty Re: husband in hiding Fri Jul 08, 2011 8:10 pm

attyLLL


moderator

you will have to file a complaint in court to declare the loan extinguished.

those pictures are not good evidence particularly if they are in a foreign place outside of the territory of philippine law.

it is not illegal to follow him around, but be careful what you do. if you were the guy, it would be legally considered stalking.

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