Urgent Need Of Advice - Sensitive Case

Hello to all,

Im in a situation where my husband infedility has been tested in deep hot water. He has committed a sin at the time of being lost and confused, therefore was very easily infatuated and bad infuenced by people who took advantage of his weakness.

Long story short he had an affair for a year whilst legally married to me and that sinful affair, he bear a child to that woman. So after the birth, my husband realises that what he has done is very wrong and is completley against our legal marriage vows and begged for my forgiveness.

My husband and I had been deeply discussing the very sensitive issue and have decided since the mother of the child has been chasing him for a financial support and the only way to stop her is to give up the child for an adoption.

My husband is incapable of taking full financial responsibility because he is not working and will never be working for them. He doesnt want to be part of the child's growth from infant to full grown age.

In order to process by law in legal terms. How do we go about in proceeding to ensure that the mother is aware that my husband will disown the childs full financial support and to stop chasing him for money. We have decided that the mother should give up the child for adoption to compensate her during her pregnancy.

Please be aware that this is a very sensitive matter and we would appreciate the right guidance.

Mrs De Juan

Just wow.. I cannot believe what you or your husband is planning to the poor child.

Anyway, regarding your query, you or your husband does not have the authority to have the child adopted. Since he is an illegitimate child, the parental authority lie solely with the mother.

With regards to the support, if your husband will deny this to their child and he in fact acknowledge that the child is his, then the mother can sue your husband and he can go to prison.

If you want to take legal action against the mother, then you will also have to sue your husband. You cannot just go after the girl.

It is not that we want to go after the woman. My husband wants to end any ties with them because he has committed a sin. Therefore, he doesnt want to acknowldege the child. Regardless he is the father, he doesnt have a job and will support the child.

He will NOT support the chid.

If he did not acknowledge the child, then the first thing that will happen if the mother will seek support to your husband is file a case to prove filiation between the father and the child. even if your husband does not want to acknowledge the child, if the court requested him to undergo DNA testing to prove filiation, then he cannot do anything but comply.

Once filiation has been established, regardless if your husband wants to support his child or not, the law will be the one to force him to do so unless he wants to go to jail. with regards if he does not have the means to support the child, the court will be the one to decide this.

I have referred to the article below:

http://www.gmanetwork.com/news/opinion/content/520678/commentary-can-a-mistress-be-held-liable-under-the-law/story/

In highlights:

But the law is not as blinded by such passionate rage; the law assigns blame equally among all the
guilty.

In the case of a two-timing husband, he and his mistress can be jointly charged with concubinage if any of the following is present: (1) he keeps his mistress in the house he shares with his wife; or (2) he lives with his mistress in any other place; or (3) he has sexual intercourse with his mistress under scandalous circumstances.

Adultery and concubinage are criminal offenses. Anyone found guilty of these crimes may be imprisoned.

Furthermore, a husband's infidelity that causes mental or emotional suffering for his wife is considered psychological violence and is also actionable under the same law.

What if the mistress calls or sends text messages to the wife to taunt her about the affair, or uses the Internet to harass the wife through indelicate messages or comments, or posts intimate photos of herself and the cheating husband?


Does the law give an aggrieved spouse any recourse against such a paramour yet still preserve the family?

There are many remedies under the law, depending on the desired result.

To make a troublesome third party pay for their indiscretion and disruptive conduct, an aggrieved spouse may file a civil case for damages against the mistress or lover alone (no need to include the guilty spouse).

The basis for such a complaint is Article 26 of the Civil Code which gives the offended party a cause of action for a third party’s meddling with, or disturbing, a person's private life or family relations.

This cause of action is commonly called "alienation of affection." It seeks compensation for a third party’s malicious act of estranging a person from his/her lawfully wedded spouse or family.

In addition to the civil case for the payment of damages, there are several criminal cases an aggrieved spouse may file to seek imprisonment of a troublesome mistress or lover.

For malicious comments or posts on the Internet that tend to dishonor or ridicule the offended spouse, a criminal complaint for libel may be filed. If found guilty, the libelous paramour may be imprisoned or ordered to pay a fine, or both.

If, during a confrontation, the mistress or lover speaks harshly to the aggrieved spouse in a manner that shames or ridicules the latter, the offender may be charged with slander (oral defamation).

If a mistress receives an allowance or fancy gifts from a cheating husband, or if she is housed, clothed, and fed by him, the aggrieved wife may want to test the law by filing a criminal case of prostitution against such mistress.

Under the law, any woman who, for money or profit, habitually indulges in sexual intercourse or lascivious conduct is deemed to be a prostitute.

In any case, an aggrieved spouse may also file a civil complaint to recover any real or personal property given by his/her unfaithful spouse to a mistress or lover.



* please note that these are in my case.