Financial support - child access - annulment?

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Jonat wrote:Hi my name is Nathan and I have been married for about 5 years but we ended our relationship last year verbally.

In LEGAL point of view, that's only in your mind.
You need at least a legal separation, but then you are still married, but have separate economies.

Jonat wrote:- The marriage was a mistake to begin with, the wedding only happened because she got pregnant and we both we in a middle east country where we can go to jail

Do you mean you both WERE there, but now wife and daughter live in the Philippines?

I ask because laws are different in different countries.

Jonat wrote:
We have a 5 year old daughter.

IF you or your (ex ?) wife do anything legal processing which change you having SHARED custody of your daughter, then you will almost sure LOSE, because that's normal for children under 7.

Jonat wrote:My salary is 30,000 a month with accommodations and food allowance.

Do you mean you get 30 000 PLUS accomodation and food?
Before or after tax is paid?

And you find it fair wife PLUS daughter live of 8000??!

Well. You talked about reasonable. That's NOT reasonable...

BUT your wife is responcible to assist with support too. If it become a court case, the amounts depend of incomes though, so she is expected to support less by the lower salaries in Phils.

As long as it is as now, you need to support your wife too - although she need to do her best to contribute - but if you end that legaly, you will have to pay support for daughter but LOSE custody. You will get meeting rights though normaly.

Jonat wrote: She can eliminate diapers too because she can poty train our child.

A 5 year old still not poty trained??!

Jonat wrote: - She likes to control our life style, she wants things that a single income family cannot afford, for example enrolling our daughter to a private school and extra curricular like swimming lessons.
- A family should have one religion to practice. She and I has different views/religion, although I tried to understand her religion but it wasn't enough to convince me to convert.

Well. It seem BOTH of you like to control the other...
Your expectation/demand of one religion is UNREALISTIC. You should have thought of that BEFORE the marriage...

But most of your demands are reasonable, although some to high about some things as EVERY weekend NOT with her mother.

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Jonat wrote:Is an agreement letter signed in regards to separation enough for the meantime?

I don't know if it is in ANY situation.
Government would count you as married anyway.
Your economies are counted as ONE SAME. YOU are responcible too to THIRD party if your wife get in dept.
So I suppouse it's best to make a legal separation, but NOT annulment to get separate economies but have custody together.

Jonat wrote: we didn't plan the pregnancy. I felt that I had no choice but to marry her becauase I was scared that if the government found out that she and I may go to jail.

That's why better not risk pregnancy with other than suiting to be married with

Jonat wrote: 8k is what I can afford, my salary is only 30k php a month and I am putting 5k monthly aside for our daughter's college funds. My wife and daughter are living with her parents and is contributing w/ expenses there. The only thing I am taking off her demands are enrolling our daughter to a private school,

30k before or after tax?
It isn't fair if you get 22k for ONE person
and they get only 8k for TWO persons...

BUT your wife need to try to contribute too, although it's hard to get work in Phils.
Has she skill so she can teach/tutor through Internet? Rather many Filipinos do that for Koreans with rather good pay if find students.

Jonat wrote:Yes our daughter is not potty trained fully. All I really want is for her to be more practical, she needs to do her part as well, get our daughter off formula and feed her actual food and get her off diapers...

Oh! BOTH that's YEARS late. That's very bad for your daughter, but perhaps can be kind of good for you IF it become a custody case.
If the child isn't disabled, then it's a sign of bad parenting by the mother, which the court PERHAPS can find to bad.
Your daughter will get much trouble in school if BOTH poty and food aren't solved SOON...

Jonat wrote: What is reasonable when it comes to my access with my daughter? The only reason I want to have her every weekend is becauase I am barely in the Philippines and when I am I want to be able to spend as much time as I can with her.  

Oh I thought you ment ALLWAYS.
If it's just when you are in Phils short periods, THEN it's fair with MORE than the weekends

Jonat wrote: Regarding about your comment of "I should of thought of it before the marriage" like I said, everything went fast because we were in Dubai, as you know in middle east is very strict very conservative when it comes with relationships.

Corection concerning what I wrote: Thinking about and check if main things are suiting before risking pregnancy...

But now it is as it is. It's allways better to try to find agreements WITHOUT fights in court. So negotiate. For instance how about suggesting they get 14 000 (if you aren't legaly separated) and the MOTHER finance private school?
If they get only 8000 and the mother can't find work, then HER PARENTS would need to pay and that' NOT their work...

Hi, parang similar to sa sitwasyon ko pero ako yun wife. Naka recieve ako ng MOA draft titled "parenting agreement" don nakasulat lahat ng terms ng husband ko in regards sa well being ng anak namin sobrang ganda nga parang napakatinong lalake sya at ang priority nya lang ay ang kapakanan ng anak namin. Dati ang pinapadala sa amin na pera ay 18-20k minsan mas mataas pa depende sa pangangailangan namin ngaun na hiwalay na kami bigla gusto nya na babaan at magbgay nalang sya ng fixed amount buwanan. Nakatira din kami sa magulang ko ngaun at nag aabot din kami ng share namin sa Bahay. Pa advice naman po kung ano puede ko gawin para nde po nya babaan yung sustento na binibigay nya, kapag po kc 9k monthly nalang kc d ko na ma eenrol anak ko sa dating school nya sa susunod na pasukan at sa public nalang, which is ayaw ko sana kasi mas maganda turo sa private and mas magiging comfortable anak ko don kesa sa public masyado students masyado nde matutukan. Mahihirapan din sa transportation kasi wlang private service kailangan mag sakay tricycle at jeep panu nalang kapag umuulan kawawa naman bata mag 5 palang Sya.

Meron kasi inatatch na breakdown ng "basic expenses" yung MOA eh at don naka lagay na ang basic amount para sa child support is 6k monthly at spousal support na 3k monthly at mateterminate kapag may trabaho na ako na may gross income na 12k pataas o ma annul ang kasal namin san man don ang mauna.

Kung mag counter po ako sa MOA na send nya sa tingen nyo po puede counted as basic expenses ang tuition sa private school, tutor at school bus?

Misis,
If you're in the same situation as my wife, you should find a job and contribute into your child's expenses, both parents should be responsible. My wife has not been working ever since she got pregnant, I have been the sole provider. I don't agree that private schools, tutor or school bus should fall under basic expenses for that is a previledge for who can easily afford it or people that are rich. Since my wife is not working, she should be the one tutoring our child... she doesn't need to hire someone else to do it. School bus - my wife is just too lazy to drop and pick up our daughter to and from school, it's convenient for her. Public schools are NOT so bad, teachers there are way more experienced than the teachers in private schools in fact, private school are allowed to hire teachers who did not pass teacher's licensing while in public schools they are required to have the license. It is true that there are more students in public and may not be able to focused with children one on one BUT that is why my wife is there NOT working she needs to guide our child. My wife's reason of wanting to put our child in private school are doesn't make any sense to me becauase I cannot afford it, if you are in the same situation.. please understand that you also have to contribute, just take what he gives and be thankful becauase he didn't run away from his responsibilities to you. There are alot of situations where the husband just abandoned his family and moved on with a new one.

@alwayserica
Mothers are responcible for supporting children too.

If not affording private school, then don't put your children there...

(I can afford to put my live in children in private school when they reach that age, but I DON'T plan to do so anyway, because I find it better they find FRIENDS in the CLOSEST school. I and my wife will tutor them. I haven't checked yet if it's allowed, but I want to have the children in HOME schooling 1-2 days per week INSTEAD of going to school, to teach them things I find schools teaching not good enough. By that the children don't need to have school more than normal time anyway. To teach for instance percent counting and geograpjy. Not even some UNIVERSITY examed can things I count as expected to know by 15 year olds ! So why spend money at such? Better spend TIME with the children.)