Child Costudy

Hi,

I do have a really serious concern about my (daughter) baby girl (1yr old) .

This is our situation. My girlfriend has also a daughter sa dating boyfriend nya 5 or 6 years old na ata I'm not sure then naging kame hanggang sa mag ka anak kme isa. Ngaun nagkakalabuan kme at nkkpghiwalay na sya. This is my concern gusto ko makuha ang anak ko sknya sa kadahilanang gusto kong bigayn ng amgandang future and anak ko at ako magpalaki sa kanay dahil obviously ung unang anak nya ay hndi nya kayang buhayin at inasa nya to sa nanay nya dahil maaga dyang nagkaanak 18 sya non. Ayoko nmn mangyari sa anak ko yun.

This is her situation. Nakapagaral sya ng hanggang highschool then hndi na nagtuloy ng pagaaral dahil sumama agad sa boyfriend nya for live in na naghiwalay dn nmn sila then according to her may " fake " marriage daw sya sa isang koreano sa korea, I don't what is the purpose of that, then hanggang ngaun kahit isang professional or serious work experience wala, lagi lang sya extra sa bar then aalis, then minsan nang nagbubugaw ng babae just to have money para may pang gastos sya.

My concern is I want to have my daughter on my costudy to secure and make sure that my daughter can have a better future and good life dahil ung unang anak nya ay hndi nya magastusan at masuportahan dahil nga sa hndi sya nagwowork.

Yung situation nya ngaun is, wala syang work pero nangungupahan sya sa isang apt. may pambayad sya ng ilaw at tubig at upa at appliances at mga gamit sa bahay nya on her own PERO WALA AKONG ALAM AT IDEA KUNG SAAN GALING ANG PERA NYA NGAUNG WLA NAMAN SYANG WORK at hndi din alam ng magulang nya kung anung gngwa nya dahil hinahayaan lang din sya. She is living alone hndi ksma unang anak nya at hnd dn ksma parents. Naninirahan sya magisa sa isang apt gn hndi ko alam san galing pera nya.

Naisip ko dn na kung nasa kanya anak ko, sino mag aalaga dun, anu na lang kakainin ng anak ko, pang gatas or gamit kung wla nmn work ung mother nya.

Nagpplano na kmeng maghiwalay per sabi ko hanggat wla sa akin anak ko hndi ako papayag.

Tanung ko lang po? Pwde ko ba ipanalo ung case na ito para maging skn ang anak ko? I can prove to all and court na kaya kong sustentuhan at buhayin ang anak ko sa sarili kong sikap basta na sa akin ang anak ko. All my concern is my daughters life and future. Dahil hanggang ngaun 5 or 6 yrs old na unang anak nya hndi pa dn nya masuportahan at masustentuhan inaasa pa dn sa nanay nya at kahit minsan ayaw nya mag apply dahil laging dahilan nya sken tinatamad sya ayaw nya ng uniform kesho mahirap ang trabaho.

Please advice coz I want to end this living hell with her. Sa ganung edad ng anak ko kpg nakakarinig ng sigaw umiiyak kht simple lang kasi natrauma kpg nag aaway kme kasi laging nagsisigawan. Kaya habang wla pang kamuwang muwang ang anak ko gusto ko sana maayos nang lahat ng ito.

Thanks in advance po. God bless us all.

The thing is, you were never married to her.

At any rate, if and only if, being a local prosti seems to be the only job a particular mother can do to make both ends meet and take care of her baby's daily needs, I doubt that this can be a basis for you to earn an upper hand of sole custody and full authority over the illegitimate child even if you have a good source of income. If you have a good job, then you could provide a good history of financial support over the child for the better future you are referring to. The court would side the benefit of the child if the case progress imho. GL

Talk to her peacefully and agree with terms, maybe she would decide in favor of your intentions.

So it means? Dahil hndi kme kasal, kahit anung gawin ko hndi ako mananalo sa costudy ng anak ko? kahit na ang situation and case ng buhay nya ay ganun? na she can't even apply for a job then ung unang anak nya hndi nya kayang sustentuhan at gastusan tapos ang iniintindi lng nya is ung bata pero ung furture and kinabukasan sinasawalang bahal lang nya dahil ang concern lng nya is ung gusto nya sknya ung bata. Wla akong chance manalo sa case na ito?

Pero kasi naririnig ko lang dn sa iba. Kapag mas kaya ng ama na buahyin ung anak maari akong manalo sa kasong ito. Handa nmn akong dalhin to kung san man sa korte or san man basta mapasakin lng anak ko. Dahil ayokong magkaroon ng buhay ang anak ko ng tulad ng buhay nya dahil kung sa ganung buhay sya lalaki sa ganung kalalakran at pamamalakd bka hndi maging magnda buhay at ugali ng anak ko kahit na sustentuhan ko pa.

What can I do? Anu po pang mas okay na gawin? Anung mas better gawin?

About sa " talk to her " she is a closed minded person to understand things coz she thinks she is still teenager, she doesn't even knoe how to be a REAL mother to her children. Gusto ko lng nmn skn anak ko ako bubuhay BASTA nsa costudy ko tapos magfocus muna sya sa unang anak nya makabawi man lang sya kahit ngaun man lang simula ngaun sya magsustento at magpara di ba. Kund sa ganung paraan sa unang anak nya hndi nya mabuhay mag isa or sa sariling sikap niya panu na baby ko ung anak ko. Itutulad nya sa unang nya na iiwan nya sa nanay nya ipapaalaga para lang mkagimik sya, gumala ksma mga tropa, manlalaki, lumandi imbis na maghanap ng trabaho dba?

Kung sken lang dn nmn, sken mapupunta ang bata sa costudy ko, dahil may work ako, hndi ko na para isipin pa yung mga extra activities and I will took care of my child dba.

Is there any chance na manalo ako sa case na to?

Thanks in advance. God bless po.

PS : Just need some guidance and help to clear this all things so I can know what's my rights at kung anu ung pwde kong ipaglaban sa anak ko dahil hndi ko na mahihintay pa na mag 7yrs old sya bago mapasaken dahil kung dun sya lalaki bka hndi ko na sya kilala.

So it means? Dahil hndi kme kasal, kahit anung gawin ko hndi ako mananalo sa costudy ng anak ko? kahit na ang situation and case ng buhay nya ay ganun? na she can't even apply for a job then ung unang anak nya hndi nya kayang sustentuhan at gastusan tapos ang iniintindi lng nya is ung bata pero ung furture and kinabukasan sinasawalang bahal lang nya dahil ang concern lng nya is ung gusto nya sknya ung bata. Wla akong chance manalo sa case na ito?

Pero kasi naririnig ko lang dn sa iba. Kapag mas kaya ng ama na buahyin ung anak maari akong manalo sa kasong ito. Handa nmn akong dalhin to kung san man sa korte or san man basta mapasakin lng anak ko. Dahil ayokong magkaroon ng buhay ang anak ko ng tulad ng buhay nya dahil kung sa ganung buhay sya lalaki sa ganung kalalakran at pamamalakd bka hndi maging magnda buhay at ugali ng anak ko kahit na sustentuhan ko pa.

What can I do? Anu po pang mas okay na gawin? Anung mas better gawin?

About sa " talk to her " she is a closed minded person to understand things coz she thinks she is still teenager, she doesn't even knoe how to be a REAL mother to her children. Gusto ko lng nmn skn anak ko ako bubuhay BASTA nsa costudy ko tapos magfocus muna sya sa unang anak nya makabawi man lang sya kahit ngaun man lang simula ngaun sya magsustento at magpara di ba. Kund sa ganung paraan sa unang anak nya hndi nya mabuhay mag isa or sa sariling sikap niya panu na baby ko ung anak ko. Itutulad nya sa unang nya na iiwan nya sa nanay nya ipapaalaga para lang mkagimik sya, gumala ksma mga tropa, manlalaki, lumandi imbis na maghanap ng trabaho dba?

Kung sken lang dn nmn, sken mapupunta ang bata sa costudy ko, dahil may work ako, hndi ko na para isipin pa yung mga extra activities and I will took care of my child dba.

Is there any chance na manalo ako sa case na to?

Thanks in advance. God bless po.

PS : Just need some guidance and help to clear this all things so I can know what's my rights at kung anu ung pwde kong ipaglaban sa anak ko dahil hndi ko na mahihintay pa na mag 7yrs old sya bago mapasaken dahil kung dun sya lalaki bka hndi ko na sya kilala.

The child is illegit since there was you were never married to her. She is not your legal wife neither. If there is someone who is next in line in compensation to full custody and authority over an illegit child on that age, much more taking care , afaik it would not be you. Those ones would be her parents and/or her siblings.

Withour marriage, afaik our conservative law sides more of mother's right over illegit child as long as the court could not see compelling reasons to take away the child from the mother. Would your mother want you to be taken away from your her when you are still young or a baby? As you see, the court would side for the benefit of the child on cases like this.

The child may carry your surname with your consent and approval from the mother, as long as you are recognizing the child. Illegit child has the right for financial support from you as bio-father. You can fight for your rights of visitation over the child approved by court and/or with mother's consent on availability. This can be discussed at baranggay level or much more in the court if that is your intentions imho.

Ofcourse no one should stop your intentions escalating your concern thru court with intention of taking away the child from the mother permanently as long as you can prove in court that the life of the child is currently in great danger and risks.