infidelity--what to file and how?

Hi Attys.,
I am legally married with an 8 year old child under my care. My husband has been working in Japan for 7 years and he is a permanent resident there. Last year, I found out through email that he is having an affair with a Filipina also married to a Brazilian with permanent resident visa in Japan too. My husband admitted the affair and asked for apology. I asked him to come home for a few days so we can talk about it but refuses to come home (it has already been 7 months after I found out). He asked for an apology over the phone and promised not to do it again. The problem is the woman has been consistently calling me for the past few months -overseas from Japan-telling me off, cursing at me, calling me desperate. I told my husband about these calls and he called me "sinungaling, nagiimbento" at minura mura pa ako. They are both in Japan and the woman has been flaunting via posts on the internet and when she calls me with a different number about their affair and telling me to leave my husband.
It has been so stressful for the past few months. The woman's calls and the way my husband talks to me on the phone has been causing so much pain. My husband never tried or made an effort to make amends. He has consistently been raising his voice at me and blames me for everything. The most hurtful statement which he said was, "ikaw ang may kasalanan kung bakit tayo nagkakaganito--hindi ka marunong". He even shouted at my mother last week accusing me "hindi marunong magpatawad" at "hindi makaintindi".
I want out because it is causing sleepless nights already--hindi na ho ako makahinga. But I want both of them to be dragged in this--especially the kabit na walang decency.
Please please advise. Thanks.

very difficult to initiate criminal case because they are in japan. criminal laws are applicable only within philippine territory.

you can file a civil case for damages against the girl for interference in your family affairs.

you can also try to file libel case against the girl if the posts were public, and argue that one of the elements of defamation, identity and publication were committed here in the philippines.

you can file a case of psychological violence against your husband for repeated marital infidelity under ra 9262, and argue that the violence you felt was experienced in philippine territory.

these are untested theories and there is no guarantee any case you file will prosper, but filing these criminal cases will at least force them to try to defend themselves and you might get lucky with a sympathetic prosecutor.

Thanks so much for the answer. Do you have a law office here in Manila? Are your suggestions a long stretch? where can I seek for legal help?

Sorry po bigla akong may pahabol--

Is there a way for my husband be forced to come home to the Philippines and face me? He has never faced me regarding this incident. And, I hope you understand that it has left me hanging--he never gives me a straight answer whenever I ask and only blames for bringing the marriage in a worse state.

I do not want to lose custody of my child who is 8. If I do file for annulment on what grounds? Do I have a chance with the RA 9262? What might happen to him if it is RA 9262?

yes, it's a bit of a stretch, but fashioned properly, it can be given the best chance to prosper.

unfortunately, there's no clear way to force your husband to come back here, but it can be your nice surprise for him if he does.

i recommend you keep compiling your evidence for now. get him to admit on email.

But what about the kabit who keeps on bothering me via overseas calls (which i do not answer) and posts on Twitter?

Is it possible for me to file for annulment and RA9262? Do you have an office in Manila?

you can contact me at attylllaw @ gmail . com

Hi there! i feel the same pain right now...i am married for2years now but my husband and i,we're living together for years. we have a 1-year old babyboy. after a 3-month work in jpan,he asked me to get married and stayed till i get pregnant. i was months pregnant with our baby when he decided to come back in japan to work. he asked me to let him work for our future and the baby,eventhough it hurts to be separated with him i allow it so he can fulfill his dreams as well. his manager and my husband convince me to let him undergo fake marriage with a japanese girl,saying i will lose nothing because we're married already,its just in d papers they will fix it when he gets visa.in other words,he made it in japan. but that was the start of my miseries.i started exoeriencing emotional abuse from him. he sends us support but not enough..he just sends me whenever i asked him.but he do not do it as an obligation to us. he was engaged with different women. enjoying life there, drinking,gambling and women.until recently i confronted him, i told him i knew everything he was doing there.we have to fix everything for our son,i gave him too much time so its time for us to take his responsibilities. he admitted he kinda lost from some time and made a big mistake in his life. he told me, he has a 2-month baby girl in japan but not living with the girl. aside from that,he has a girlfriend. and feels so sorry for hurting me.he was young and looking for fun. he enjoyed life in japan.he experienced things that he never experience here...and asked me just to understand,whatever happens he will come home only to us. i am so hurt and helpless,cant convince him to come home. i want to sue them for infedelity, and want to deport both of them since the girl knew he was married man in the first place and let our family suffer,and marriage put at risk. what shall i do to get the what is just right for the legal family? need your help.thanks so much

what evidence do you have of their marriage? was it reported to the NSO? request a cenomar, the second marriage may appear. you will now have basis for a bigamy charge.

you can notify the japanese authorities and they may cancel his visa

yes i have the copy of the 2nd marriage and copy of his passport stating their marriage visa from a japanese...can they used it against me knowing the fact that i allowed it?i gave permission when they convince me its just a paper for his visa but i will still be d legal wife since we married first. i do not have a choice because its my husbands dream to work there,and its his only way to get there. we are paying the japanese girl monthly,shes getting part of his salary as payment.so marriage is just part of business. second issue,he got a girl pregnant and now living in with d girl...he sent me pictures of the baby.and admitted everything to me.what shall i do?i want them to pay and get justice for me anf my 1 yr old son. the girl was aware he was amarried man. shes also married to japanese,but same with my husband,its a fake one.they made it appear the baby is from his japanese husband and they were granted residence visa. the woman and her baby.he abandoned us and stop d support now he got another baby girl. he said we're still the legal family.time will come he will come home to us.but shall i just wait till he collect his girls and kids there? help me. what should i do?

you can notify the japanese authorities and they may cancel his visa for committing bigamy in japan.

thanks so much for the advise. thanks

Hi Atty.,

I would like to ask if it is possible to have my husband and the kabit to be sent back to the Philipines? They are both Filipino citizens and only granted with a permanent visa.

What are the evidences that will be accepted in court that will serve as proof if I file for interference in family affairs against the kabit?

what evidence do you have?

as i said earlier, there is no clear way how to get them sent back here. but you can try to report them to japanese authorities also.

Good evening. I wrote this in behalf of my brother. He is working as a seaman and is married and was blessed to have 1 daughter who is now 18 years of age. His wife was having an affair with several men when he is on board since 1999. He was very angry with his wife and wanted to separate from her when he knew about it. His wife admitted that she was having an affair to us her sisters in law and even to my mother. Even her daughter knew what she was doing. But my mother stopped my brother from doing so. Thinking that she will end her affairs, he has forgiven her. But she never stopped her affairs with the other men. She also cannot handle her monthly allotment she was receiving from my brother. Every time he goes home, my brother will have to pay debts which her wife borrowed. It is always like that for since 1999. Now my brother thought that his daughter is old enough to understand, he decided to leave his wife for he cannot take anymore what his wife is doing. He told his mother in law that he will support his daughter only and not anymore his wife. He only boarded again first week of May and his wife was still expecting that she will still be receiving money from my brother. I pity my brother because he has been so lonely and depressed. There is one lady he met and they fall in love and it is the first time I can see my brother to be alive and happy again. His wife knew about their relationship and she said it is okay as long as she will be receiving her allotment. But that didn't happen for my brother gave her a small amount and she got so furious about it. Now she is threatening my brother that she will go in his office and tell that he is womanizing and that the allotment that she should be getting, she is not receiving anymore. My brother told her that if she will do that, he will also sue her for her infidelity. I want to know if my brother can file a suit about her being unfaithful. Can my sister in law also file a case against my brother who has now found woman whom he will love?
Thank you so much

aside from the supposed admissions, what other proof is there about her unfaithfulness? her supposed crime is having sexual intercourse with other men, where is the proof of that? you can't expect her to admit it.

where is your brother's gf?

your brother has to send constant support. otherwise he can be made liable for economic abuse under ra 9262

inwould like to ask something may husband is in kuwait with his mistress they were together with the same company.. puwede ko ba i notify ang kuwait embassy sa kalokohan nila..?