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Hi,
I'm a woman. My dad passed away in 1999 while my mom passed away in 2000.
In 2004, I was 23 years old. I was in a 4 years-old relationship then. My partner was 6 years older than I was. He wanted to have a baby but I was adamant not to have 1 outside of wedlock.
At that time, the law was that a child outside of wedlock should have the last name of the mother. I pointed this out to my partner and his response was that I should not present myself as the mother so as to give the child his last name. It was something I did not like at all.
So I pushed for a marriage to make it all legal and binding and fair. He agreed. That was months before the actual marriage. He didn't like to go in the city hall to prepare beforehand so we only came into the Manila City Hall on the date of marriage.
There was no marriage counselling or whatsoever beforehand. All documents were only signed on the day of the marriage.
The administrator told us that since this is the case, they would just have to register the marriage in the city of San Juan instea of Manila since Manila is more strict about processes.
At that time, I also needed parental consent but as I told them that both of my parents already passed away, they just opted to put in the name of a guardian. I put in the name of a helper/guardian at the dormitory I lived in. She was not present at the marriage though. So if there was a signature, it was not hers.
So the marriage was pushed through despite all these. It is now recorded in NSO (that it happened in San Juan).
Afterwards, we lived together, trying to have a baby. I underwent several doctor's exam and was given medications as well. (since my grandmother had diabetes, I was given metformin which caused my stomach to have excessive acid levels). I was also given clomid, which made me hyper ovulate given that I had polycystic ovaries. A year went by and I did not get pregnant. Until finally after consulting with another different doctor, my partner was asked to undergo a sperm count. His sperm count was way below what could make us concieve a child.
He then decided to work again (abroad). So I was left here to continue my studies.
For the whole of our realtionship, even before the marriage, I felt psychologically battered (perhaps because I still grieved for my parents' deaths, was continuously going through the stress of familial issues regarding their properties, plus having to support myself in my studies) plus having my partner control my every move.
To add to that, while he was abroad, he still persisted in controlling me. Until in 1 phone call, he forced me to tell him a specific detail (where was his 10k from his bank account) that I didn't have a record of at that time (I was on duty being a nursing student and my records were at my dorm). He started cursing me and such. I finally realized that I can't live the rest of my life with him anymore. That what he was doing to me was not fair at all.
So I said goodbye and hung up the phone.
For months until he got back in the country. We kept only minimal communication like text messaging. For my side, it was only to advice him of changes in his bank account mostly.
When he got back in the country, I was so afraid to see him so I hid from him. My fear was not just a hallucination though. He went to both of my sisters' houses, even in the house of my aunt, as king for me, demanding to see me. He even threatened that if "hindi kami magkaayos, magkakagulo tayong lahat."
I let him see me once, in a public place. He inviting me to join him at home but I was really scared that I might just end up in the newspaper so I didn't consent.
After that, he found out my new mobile number through a professor of mine. So he began texting me even calling me at times. A short example of his texts would be:
day 1: he'll tell he's sorry and all and that's i should give us another chance and that he really loves me and such
day 2: he'll shout at me, call me names, mumurahin nya ko and he'll tell me im nothing without him
day 3: he'll say sorry again, talk about good times and such
day 4: he'll tell me i'd be sorry to let him go, he'll threaten me
So I hope that my fear was quite understandable.
I had bad dreams about him. Was afraid to go to public places and such. I even dropped out of my last year in Nursing school just to hide from him.
Now, approximately 5+ years after, I'm in a much better state and would like to move on with my life, though I still fear seeing him.
A common friend of ours told me that he now has a wife and child. But seeing as NSO still has a record of our marriage, I wonder how that was possible.
Anyway, the only thing that I want is for my marriage with him to not be counted anymore.
Can you please advice me about my options? As much as possible, I do not want to see him (as I still have my fears) but I really want this to end now.
Thanks!
(Sorry for the long story. I just wanted to give as much facts as I could)
Yours,
ncy019
I'm a woman. My dad passed away in 1999 while my mom passed away in 2000.
In 2004, I was 23 years old. I was in a 4 years-old relationship then. My partner was 6 years older than I was. He wanted to have a baby but I was adamant not to have 1 outside of wedlock.
At that time, the law was that a child outside of wedlock should have the last name of the mother. I pointed this out to my partner and his response was that I should not present myself as the mother so as to give the child his last name. It was something I did not like at all.
So I pushed for a marriage to make it all legal and binding and fair. He agreed. That was months before the actual marriage. He didn't like to go in the city hall to prepare beforehand so we only came into the Manila City Hall on the date of marriage.
There was no marriage counselling or whatsoever beforehand. All documents were only signed on the day of the marriage.
The administrator told us that since this is the case, they would just have to register the marriage in the city of San Juan instea of Manila since Manila is more strict about processes.
At that time, I also needed parental consent but as I told them that both of my parents already passed away, they just opted to put in the name of a guardian. I put in the name of a helper/guardian at the dormitory I lived in. She was not present at the marriage though. So if there was a signature, it was not hers.
So the marriage was pushed through despite all these. It is now recorded in NSO (that it happened in San Juan).
Afterwards, we lived together, trying to have a baby. I underwent several doctor's exam and was given medications as well. (since my grandmother had diabetes, I was given metformin which caused my stomach to have excessive acid levels). I was also given clomid, which made me hyper ovulate given that I had polycystic ovaries. A year went by and I did not get pregnant. Until finally after consulting with another different doctor, my partner was asked to undergo a sperm count. His sperm count was way below what could make us concieve a child.
He then decided to work again (abroad). So I was left here to continue my studies.
For the whole of our realtionship, even before the marriage, I felt psychologically battered (perhaps because I still grieved for my parents' deaths, was continuously going through the stress of familial issues regarding their properties, plus having to support myself in my studies) plus having my partner control my every move.
To add to that, while he was abroad, he still persisted in controlling me. Until in 1 phone call, he forced me to tell him a specific detail (where was his 10k from his bank account) that I didn't have a record of at that time (I was on duty being a nursing student and my records were at my dorm). He started cursing me and such. I finally realized that I can't live the rest of my life with him anymore. That what he was doing to me was not fair at all.
So I said goodbye and hung up the phone.
For months until he got back in the country. We kept only minimal communication like text messaging. For my side, it was only to advice him of changes in his bank account mostly.
When he got back in the country, I was so afraid to see him so I hid from him. My fear was not just a hallucination though. He went to both of my sisters' houses, even in the house of my aunt, as king for me, demanding to see me. He even threatened that if "hindi kami magkaayos, magkakagulo tayong lahat."
I let him see me once, in a public place. He inviting me to join him at home but I was really scared that I might just end up in the newspaper so I didn't consent.
After that, he found out my new mobile number through a professor of mine. So he began texting me even calling me at times. A short example of his texts would be:
day 1: he'll tell he's sorry and all and that's i should give us another chance and that he really loves me and such
day 2: he'll shout at me, call me names, mumurahin nya ko and he'll tell me im nothing without him
day 3: he'll say sorry again, talk about good times and such
day 4: he'll tell me i'd be sorry to let him go, he'll threaten me
So I hope that my fear was quite understandable.
I had bad dreams about him. Was afraid to go to public places and such. I even dropped out of my last year in Nursing school just to hide from him.
Now, approximately 5+ years after, I'm in a much better state and would like to move on with my life, though I still fear seeing him.
A common friend of ours told me that he now has a wife and child. But seeing as NSO still has a record of our marriage, I wonder how that was possible.
Anyway, the only thing that I want is for my marriage with him to not be counted anymore.
Can you please advice me about my options? As much as possible, I do not want to see him (as I still have my fears) but I really want this to end now.
Thanks!
(Sorry for the long story. I just wanted to give as much facts as I could)
Yours,
ncy019
But I'm sure you're busy and all)