Child Costudy

Hi,

I do have a really serious concern about my (daughter) baby girl (1yr old) .

This is our situation. My girlfriend has also a daughter sa dating boyfriend nya 5 or 6 years old na ata I'm not sure then naging kame hanggang sa mag ka anak kme isa. Ngaun nagkakalabuan kme at nkkpghiwalay na sya. This is my concern gusto ko makuha ang anak ko sknya sa kadahilanang gusto kong bigayn ng amgandang future and anak ko at ako magpalaki sa kanay dahil obviously ung unang anak nya ay hndi nya kayang buhayin at inasa nya to sa nanay nya dahil maaga dyang nagkaanak 18 sya non. Ayoko nmn mangyari sa anak ko yun.

This is her situation. Nakapagaral sya ng hanggang highschool then hndi na nagtuloy ng pagaaral dahil sumama agad sa boyfriend nya for live in na naghiwalay dn nmn sila then according to her may " fake " marriage daw sya sa isang koreano sa korea, I don't what is the purpose of that, then hanggang ngaun kahit isang professional or serious work experience wala, lagi lang sya extra sa bar then aalis, then minsan nang nagbubugaw ng babae just to have money para may pang gastos sya.

My concern is I want to have my daughter on my costudy to secure and make sure that my daughter can have a better future and good life dahil ung unang anak nya ay hndi nya magastusan at masuportahan dahil nga sa hndi sya nagwowork.

Yung situation nya ngaun is, wala syang work pero nangungupahan sya sa isang apt. may pambayad sya ng ilaw at tubig at upa at appliances at mga gamit sa bahay nya on her own PERO WALA AKONG ALAM AT IDEA KUNG SAAN GALING ANG PERA NYA NGAUNG WLA NAMAN SYANG WORK at hndi din alam ng magulang nya kung anung gngwa nya dahil hinahayaan lang din sya. She is living alone hndi ksma unang anak nya at hnd dn ksma parents. Naninirahan sya magisa sa isang apt gn hndi ko alam san galing pera nya.

Naisip ko dn na kung nasa kanya anak ko, sino mag aalaga dun, anu na lang kakainin ng anak ko, pang gatas or gamit kung wla nmn work ung mother nya.

Nagpplano na kmeng maghiwalay per sabi ko hanggat wla sa akin anak ko hndi ako papayag.

Tanung ko lang po? Pwde ko ba ipanalo ung case na ito para maging skn ang anak ko? I can prove to all and court na kaya kong sustentuhan at buhayin ang anak ko sa sarili kong sikap basta na sa akin ang anak ko. All my concern is my daughters life and future. Dahil hanggang ngaun 5 or 6 yrs old na unang anak nya hndi pa dn nya masuportahan at masustentuhan inaasa pa dn sa nanay nya at kahit minsan ayaw nya mag apply dahil laging dahilan nya sken tinatamad sya ayaw nya ng uniform kesho mahirap ang trabaho.

Please advice coz I want to end this living hell with her. Sa ganung edad ng anak ko kpg nakakarinig ng sigaw umiiyak kht simple lang kasi natrauma kpg nag aaway kme kasi laging nagsisigawan. Kaya habang wla pang kamuwang muwang ang anak ko gusto ko sana maayos nang lahat ng ito.

Thanks in advance po. God bless us all.

IF it become a COURT case the mother winn mostly IF trying to get custody ALONE for such small child. For the father to winn alone. the mother need to be proven very bad as a PARENT. That DON'T depend of financial capacity, because the child have right to financial support anyway.

Other solution ideas:
1. IF the mother don't bother any much about the child THEN you can try to get custody alone by negotiation. Get a SIGNED agreement.

2. But if she bother, then you better NOT try p1, because that add risk she will not agree to anything.
Try to reach a signed AGREEMENT the daughter will LIVE with you.
You can offer for instance
the mother then don't need to pay any support
she can get visitation right and let the child stay with the mother sometimes.

Hi Lunkan,

Thanks for your advice.

But the mother is a close minded person that don't listen well when you do the talking, she is full of pride and only thinks for the baby to be with her but not the financial support coz she doesn't even know how to work in decent way.

On the other hand, I want to have my daughter on my costudy to make sure of her future and better life as I can support my daughter financailly. We're not married, so can I demand that if my daughter was in my costudy I will fully support her needs but if she is not in my costudy I will not support or even reaching out for the support financially?

Joshua.Sophia wrote: But the mother is a close minded person that don't listen well when you do the talking, she is full of pride and only thinks for the baby to be with her but not the financial support coz she doesn't even know how to work in decent way.

That's not a legal reason to give the custody to other than the mother. Up to 7 yo it's almost automatic given to the mother. It has to be very big bad reasons about the mother to change that.
But you can get meeting right.

The red marked make you better AVOID make a legal case of it, because that can make she will try to fight your right to meet the child.

Joshua.Sophia wrote: On the other hand, I want to have my daughter on my costudy to make sure of her future and better life as I can support my daughter financailly. We're not married, so can I demand that if my daughter was in my costudy I will fully support her needs but if she is not in my costudy I will not support or even reaching out for the support financially?

No. You have to support the CHILD financialy anyway. But you DON'T need to support the mother anything.

So what can I do to have my daughter in my costudy? I don't want my daughter to live with her mother like the life she's living now like hell. They are not good example. I just want my daughter to be in good hands and that on my side. What can I do? What is the possible way or to do to have my daughter in my costudy?

Joshua.Sophia wrote:So what can I do to have my daughter in my costudy? I don't want my daughter to live with her mother like the life she's living now like hell. They are not good example. I just want my daughter to be in good hands and that on my side. What can I do? What is the possible way or to do to have my daughter in my costudy?

As I wrote you will LOSE if you make a case of it (if you can't prove the mother is very bad as PARENT).
That's why I recomend you DON'T try that, but try to get as much as possible by NEGOTIATE with the mother. Try to find out what SHE want in LIFE. Perhaps she can agree to let your daughter LIVE much with you MOSTLY,
BUT if I understand you corect, the mother would just get angry if you try to get FULL custody- That's why I recomend you DON'T try that, because you will probably lose then.
= Aim LESS than full custody at something it's possible the mother can AGREE to.
For instance can she be interested in something like this?
SPLIT custody
having the daughter (2) days per week and get support as is the daughter would be with her allways.
Or even - Perhaps she is interested to let YOU get your daughter more if you pay something the MOTHER want as for instance a better home or education for the MOTHER?