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After 25 years of being civilly married (1986), my husband took a giant leap in leaving me and my two daughters just this 2011. Throughout the years, I have been a dedicated housewife and mother. I have discovered him as a womanizer the week right after our church wedding in 1987 through his diaries which he might had secretly kept in one of the cabinets of our apartment. I confronted him about his unfaithfulness; I couldn’t believe he would do such a thing even after 12 years of dating before getting married? This led to our first fight. Every time I got oppressed by these thoughts, I can’t stop asking him why, which often led to violent fights. Then I found out that he had a temper problem, and that he was verbally and emotionally abusive as well.
However, despite his character, he remains a good provider to us. I continue to love, care and serve him especially when God gave us two wonderful daughters. They, too, have experienced his manner of getting angry, which created fear in them as they grew up. Every time I discover evidences of his extra marital affairs, he would react violently to my interrogations. Affected by his badmouthing, I would dare hit him with my hand on his upper arm, which will result to harder blows from him like elbowing, choking and the latest, kicks on my body (breasts, stomach, knees). His infidelity went on and on for years, and inasmuch as we try to keep or save our marriage, despite his apologies after every fight, those were but to give me and my children false hopes of being a happy family.
Aside from all the other women he fancied and had sexual affairs with, he has been keeping an extramarital affair consistently with his particular doctor (former pediatrician of our children) in 1994. I always try to believe his promises to end the illicit affair with her, but until now, it seems that their relationship keeps getting stronger, as even this woman’s family tolerates such immorality. In their 17 years of their relationship, he strictly claims that he has no children with her. Last 2009, I discovered that the woman has a condominium titled under her brother’s name, but my husband and she occupied it from time to time whenever she is in Manila, because she had her residency back in the province.
Last July 2011, after having had a violent fight, I agreed to his plans to move out of the house to avoid hurting me physically again. This is the third or fourth time my husband planned to leave us since 2009. Although he was only ‘considering’ moving out, we were shocked that two days after our big fight, after an out of town trip because of work, he had already started to bring clothes with him, effectively moving out without even notifying any of us. Since then, he hasn’t been sleeping at home and doesn’t come back except for the weekends to deliver his dirty laundry.
In his text messages, he admitted that he will be staying in her condo now. Despite the situation, he promised to fulfill his financial obligations to us, but now, I fear things will be different because he has finally left us for her.
Even though I still care for him, I would like to file for a legal separation, something which I didn’t have the courage to do a long time ago because of my young daughters. Nonetheless, I am concerned if his job would be affected since he is now an officer in a very huge and prestigious company for more than 26 yrs of service. I would not want the worst to happen to him. I have suffered emotionally, physically and mentally long enough that my daughters and I want to live separately from him. Please advise me to come to a clearer, if not wiser decision.
I need advice about what measures I should take if I am about to file for a legal separation, something that would not put my husband's job at risk, as this is where we get our financial support.
However, despite his character, he remains a good provider to us. I continue to love, care and serve him especially when God gave us two wonderful daughters. They, too, have experienced his manner of getting angry, which created fear in them as they grew up. Every time I discover evidences of his extra marital affairs, he would react violently to my interrogations. Affected by his badmouthing, I would dare hit him with my hand on his upper arm, which will result to harder blows from him like elbowing, choking and the latest, kicks on my body (breasts, stomach, knees). His infidelity went on and on for years, and inasmuch as we try to keep or save our marriage, despite his apologies after every fight, those were but to give me and my children false hopes of being a happy family.
Aside from all the other women he fancied and had sexual affairs with, he has been keeping an extramarital affair consistently with his particular doctor (former pediatrician of our children) in 1994. I always try to believe his promises to end the illicit affair with her, but until now, it seems that their relationship keeps getting stronger, as even this woman’s family tolerates such immorality. In their 17 years of their relationship, he strictly claims that he has no children with her. Last 2009, I discovered that the woman has a condominium titled under her brother’s name, but my husband and she occupied it from time to time whenever she is in Manila, because she had her residency back in the province.
Last July 2011, after having had a violent fight, I agreed to his plans to move out of the house to avoid hurting me physically again. This is the third or fourth time my husband planned to leave us since 2009. Although he was only ‘considering’ moving out, we were shocked that two days after our big fight, after an out of town trip because of work, he had already started to bring clothes with him, effectively moving out without even notifying any of us. Since then, he hasn’t been sleeping at home and doesn’t come back except for the weekends to deliver his dirty laundry.
In his text messages, he admitted that he will be staying in her condo now. Despite the situation, he promised to fulfill his financial obligations to us, but now, I fear things will be different because he has finally left us for her.
Even though I still care for him, I would like to file for a legal separation, something which I didn’t have the courage to do a long time ago because of my young daughters. Nonetheless, I am concerned if his job would be affected since he is now an officer in a very huge and prestigious company for more than 26 yrs of service. I would not want the worst to happen to him. I have suffered emotionally, physically and mentally long enough that my daughters and I want to live separately from him. Please advise me to come to a clearer, if not wiser decision.
I need advice about what measures I should take if I am about to file for a legal separation, something that would not put my husband's job at risk, as this is where we get our financial support.
