REMEDY FOLLOWING ADULTERY BASED ON DECEPTION

Good Day,
My wife met a man through the Intermet. He claimed to be separated from his wife and they eventually met and had sex on numerous occasions in the Philippines and in Hong Kong. He told my wife he loved her and suggested many plans for their future. Over one year he managed to persuade my wife to rent a flat for him, buy a car for him as well as send him money regularly and pay for his trips. Investigation of him by me revealed he is married and living with his wife and they had a daughter born during the relationship with my wife. Almost everything he told my wife about his status and background were lies. I filed for divorce with him named as the adulterer - but my wife asked me to withdraw the proceedings which I have done - but the damage to our family has been terrible. I wish to ask do I have a case against him either for criminal deception (estafa?) or a civil case for return of the money / value of what he received from my wife. My wife had her own job but also had an allowance from me - I treat the money she earned and received as conjugal money - so believe I may be able to report a criminal deception (estafa?) or bring civil proceedings myself (my wife is reluctant /too embarrassed to bring action herself). I would be grateful for advice.
PN

the immediate question i see is, if your wife will not participate, can you prove the adulterous relationship independently?

estafa will not prosper without your wife's testimony. a civil complaint for monetary damages will have a better chance.

is the man based in the philippines?

Thanks. I think I may be able to prove adultery because my wife admitted it in divorce proceedings in Hong Kong which were subsequently withdrawn. Also the man texted me asking for forgiveness for having the affair - that was before it was revealed that he had lied about almost everything to my wife. He is in Manila - my wife and I are in Hong Kong.
PN

when you say admitted in divorce proceedings, this was oral testimony or an affidavit? what i meant by independently are hotel, travel records, the lease agreement for the flat, surveillance video, photo, etc.

admissions are tricky. i doubt the text message will say, 'i had sexual intercourse with your wife'.

is the guy some kind of gigolo? or he has a respectable standing in the community?

Thanks. I do understand the potential difficulty with such evidence. I do have his travel records to Hong Kong - the trips were all when I was overseas. I do have the money transfer documents of my wife sending him money and receipts for buying him the tickets to Hong Kong. I have a photo and video of him recovered from my wife's computer - but not them clearly together. As regards the text - I texted to him saying I knew everything about the adultery after my wife admitted it - he texted back asking for forgiveness. He has no particular standing. His wife, who I contacted, told me he claims to be a freelance consultant - but seems to me he does not have work and just relies on women to provide him with money (his wife and during the affair my wife). The car my wife gave him money to buy was put in the name of another woman by him unknown to my wife. Basically, it seems to me he is a very compelling liar and uses that to get around women. He should not be a professional gigolo (not just saying this - I am no longer angry about it) - but quite frankly he does not have the stature or looks for that at all. He just seems to be very good at sweet talk and deceit.Thanks.
PN

i would proceed with sending demand letters to him first. ultimately, i think a civil case will have a better chance than a criminal one, but both can be filed.