Second Wife - Rights to sue

Good Day! I just want your advice to what should I do as a second wife. Im married to a Muslim man in accordance to PD 1083. Ever since his first wife found out about our marriage, he's not treating me right emotionally. Im not receiving any support from him, financially and emotionally. He's treating me like Im a mistress. He went back to Zamboanga and is now living with his first wife and 2 kids. His wife and family is not allowing him communicate with me through phone as the wife is the one who has his cp. We only communicate thru chat when there' a chance. The wife would sometimes text me calling me kabit and pokpok. She even threatens to kill me. She also sent messages through facebook calling me kabit and pokpok. My husband is allowing his wife to do this to me instead of reprimanding her.According to the first wife, my husband told his family that he already divorced me when he hasn't filed divorce in Shariah yet. She taunted me about being treated as a mistress because my husband could not stand up for me. What he wanted is to hide me as his wife and for his family to think that we are already separated. He asked me to hide everything so I could still be his wife. This has caused me so much pain and sleepness nights that my work is already affected by what he's doing. I cant help thinking about our situation. I constantly researched about Islamic teachings so I could appeal to him that what he's doing to me is not right. I kept sending him emails but he seldom replies. He's treating me like I dont have the right as his wife and it's humiliating on my part. And to add, i sometimes get nervous everytime there's a text message. Im afraid that it could be his wife. She keeps on me texting me Im kabit and my husband wont come to me anymore because they won't allow it. My husband is letting her do this to me eventhough he knows what's happening. He told me not to mind her. He doesn't say anything of his plans to resolve our situation. I can't help but feel pity for myself. There came a point that I was so hopeless that I was thinking of commiting suicide. Before we got married, he promised that he will take care of me as his second wife. And his first wife will accept me. He convinced me that our marriage is acceptable in Islam. But then he didn't keep his word. I cant even tell everyone we're married because he wants to hide our relationship as his first wife and his family won't accept me. I want to know if I can file a criminal case against my husband for emotional/psychological abuse(RA 9262) because of what Im going through? What case can I file against his first wife? My husband told me that she and her aunt is threatening to kill me if ever they see me. I also have a saved text message from her that her Aunt will kill me. Di nya daw ako titigilan habambuhay. I wanted to seek help from Shariah but I can't go to Zamboanga for the fear of their threats. I dont have guaranteed protection when I go there. Please enlighten me on what should be my best course of action. Thank you so much.

against the wife, it seems you can file unjust vexation, threats.

against your husband, you can argue that he is allowing the wife to do this which constitutes emotional abuse, but I wouldn't think it will prosper. if he's not sending support, then he can be liable for economic abuse instead.

but what is your objective here? to strike back? if you file cases, I don't think your hubby will go back to you.

would a divorce be a good or a bad thing for you?

Thank you Atty. for your prompt response. Honestly, yes im doing this to strike back and give them a lesson for letting me go through this. I will file a divorce afterwards. With his wife, are the messages on facebook and a text message enough? And also my husband's statement that my co-wife and her aunt will kill me. What's the punishment for unjust vexation and threats?

You said it wouldn't prosper for psychological violence,so I couldn't file a case at all? What exactly constitutes emotional abuse? What if I have myself evaluated by a psychologist? The fact that he's not doing anything is causing me emotional distress. I'm planning to go to Shariah to file a divorce but I fear for my safety there. What should I do to protect myself from them ? And also, what can I do here in Manila? I mean I just want to make sure that if something bad happens to me, the wife and her family will be the primary suspects. Will a blotter do?

if the facebook posts are public, then it can be libel. if they are messages to you, then possibly unjust vexation and threats. vexation is punished with 1-30 days imprisonment. threats depends on the kind it is classified. my interpretation is that it will be considered light threats.


psychological violence under ra 9262 can be charged only against the husband, but it is the wife who is doing the actions. that is why i don't think it will prosper.

It's shameful that ordinary man are prosecuted for concubinage and bigamy while muslims can marry as many as four. It was a grievous mistake that the government allowed Shariah law to govern a group of people. The same law that discriminate against women. The law has even decriminalized statutory rape.

I have attended classes on Shariah law as part of our curriculum for law school, and I am completely dumbfounded how this law has passed the scrutiny of our "brilliant" lawmakers.

Miss TheSecond, I am not a lawyer, at least not yet, but should you need some help for your divorce, let me know. I am from your "feared" place Zamboanga City, and I know a few lawyers. Sino ba yang gagong asawa mo?

By the way, forget about Islam. You will not find anything of help from that false religion. If you are a non-muslim, you are a kafir that should be treated with disrespect. Go to this website www.faithfreedom.org and read about testimonies of former wives of muslims. You can share your experience there as well..

I hope everything will be alright with you..

Hi!
I am married to a Japanese guy here in Philippines 5 yrs ago.We planned about living in japan. But after a year of marriage he had a mistress in japan and she is also Filipina. My papers is pending now and my husband didn't want me to go to japan either.They had also a daughter. I would like to ask what should I do? What is my rights. Thank you and hope to your response.

So is the japanese government aware of your marriage? was your marriage reported?

Is the husband here or in japan? if he is in japan, there may not be much that can be done from here.

@ AttyLLL Thank you so much po sa advice. You have enlightened me.


@lOst_StuDent Thanks ha, nakahanap ako ng kakampi. Actually I'm looking for a lawyer that could represent me sana sa Shariah. How long do u think it would take for the court to grant the divorce? Is it possible kaya na di ko na kelangan pumunta pa ng Zambo?

Hi TheSecond!

I will ask around. With regards to a lawyer, I can help you with that just tell me when you need one na talaga. i don't think it's going to take a long time to get a divorce. And if you can trust me, you can me pm the name of your husband and give more details about his relatives. I need this information so I'll know if he's influential here. This can also help me with the selection of a good lawyer for you. I don't want to approach someone and talk about your case tapos relative pala nya.

I sincerely hope matatapos na tong page ng buhay mo ng maaga..

Sent u a pm already. Thanks again:)

lOst_StuDent wrote:It's shameful that ordinary man are prosecuted for concubinage and bigamy while muslims can marry as many as four. It was a grievous mistake that the government allowed Shariah law to govern a group of people. The same law that discriminate against women. The law has even decriminalized statutory rape.

I have attended classes on Shariah law as part of our curriculum for law school, and I am completely dumbfounded how this law has passed the scrutiny of our "brilliant" lawmakers.

Miss TheSecond, I am not a lawyer, at least not yet, but should you need some help for your divorce, let me know. I am from your "feared" place Zamboanga City, and I know a few lawyers. Sino ba yang gagong asawa mo?

By the way, forget about Islam. You will not find anything of help from that false religion. If you are a non-muslim, you are a kafir that should be treated with disrespect. Go to this website www.faithfreedom.org and read about testimonies of former wives of muslims. You can share your experience there as well..

I hope everything will be alright with you..

with due respect ms. lost student..,i think saying ISLAM as false religion is beyond ur dumbfounded belief. Your a law student, the law may be harsh but it is the law..don't you think saying the same is not a discrimination?? b4 entering into contract of marriage woman shud have at least thought of all the possible consequences of marrying a muslim man..knowing the laws are quite difficult... yes i do agree, its really unfair but that's the law and basically it is purely based on divine law.

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with due respect ms. lost student..,i think saying ISLAM as false religion is beyond ur dumbfounded belief. Your a law student, the law may be harsh but it is the law..don't you think saying the same is not a discrimination?? b4 entering into contract of marriage woman shud have at least thought of all the possible consequences of marrying a muslim man..knowing the laws are quite difficult... yes i do agree, its really unfair but that's the law and basically it is purely based on divine law.[/quote]

With due respect ms. sammu, I dare say whatever I want to say about that false religion. That is my freedom to speak about a tyrant, barbaric and hateful political ideology disguised as a religion. If nobody spoke about the evils of communism, socialism and imperialism, where do you think world will be today. Perhaps it is you who do not know about Islam. What divine law are you talking about? The same barbaric law that stones women to death? The same divine law that allows marriages to 9 years old? Common! What's divine there?

lost student and sammu, this is not the proper forum for your debate on Islam. and lost student, free speech is not absolute. Let's keep it about the law.