FAMILY: MARRIAGE/ANNULMENT/CHILD SUPPORT

n1327 wrote:Hi!

I am seeking professional legal advice for my concerns I have in. I have too many questions that need to be answered and would be grateful if anyone here would help me. Thank you in advance

This is my story: (it's pretty long so i hope someone will take time to read and help me out with this issue and answer my questions. Again, thank you in advance. It will be a really big help for me na may makatulong sa'kin)

I got pregnant when I was 18 and my parents/grandparents decided that me and my bf (ex now) get married. Nagsama kami as mag-asawa for 1 year lang at nag karoon kami ng isang anak. when our son reached 1yr old(2009). nag hiwalay na kami dahil binugbog nya ako at pinalayas for accusing me that I have someone else. So, pina blotter namin sya at nagkaroon ng kasulatan na mag hihiwalay na kami at kasama dun ang pagsustento sa anak namin, aside from that, we also filed him a case which is the R.A. 9262 - Violence against women and children. Time passed and we haven't heard from him anymore until we found out na sumakay na pala sya ng barko, TAKE NOTE: (he applied as SINGLE eventhough we're MARRIED) pero since nakaalis na sya pinabayaan nalang namin and even yung case that we filled him since hindi naman sya nanggulo na.

After a year, nagkaroon ako ng bf hanggang sa nagsama na kami and we're still together until now together with my son, so bali yung bf ko na ang kinalakihan ng anak ko at sya din ang kilala na ama nito at alam ito ng EX ko but it seems he doesn't care. My son is already 6 now so bali 5 years na ang nakalipas simula nung maghiwalay kami ng EX ko.

Last September nag message sya sakin sa facebook kung ok lang na maging friends kami for the sake of our son, so I was like thinking kung papayag ako or not pero deep inside ayoko at ayoko ng magkaroon kami ng kahit anong connections na most especially sa anak namin pero naisip ko syang replyan at iopen sknya ang annulment, he agreed naman on that PERO with the condition na makita nya ulit ang aming anak. After nun hindi ko na sya nireplyan at sinabi ko nalang sa parents ko ang tungkol dun. Lately lang ng bumaba ang EX ko sa barko after 2 weeks or 3 na nandito na sya sa pilipinas pinuntahan nya ang anak namin sa school, inabangan nya ito na that time yung bf ko ang sumundo sa anak ko, he approached my bf na kung pwede makausap nya ang bata so bali walang nagawa ang bf ko kundi bantayan nalang ang bata, he didn't respond back na since alam nya kung saan sya lulugar.

This is the hardest part for me, by the time na nalapitan na nya ang bata he got carried away with his emotions at sinabi nya na sya ang totoong ama nito at sinabi pa nya sa bata na kesyo kukunin daw nya ito, gusto makasama etc. pag dating ng anak ko sa bahay nag histerical sya iyak ng iyak at tanong ng tanong kung sino daw yung lalaking iyon at kung bakit daw yon sinabi saknya and there was a point na ayaw na nyang pumasok sa school dahil sa sobrang takot na baka puntahan sya ulit ng lalaking yon at kunin daw sya. As a mother, i explained the truth to my son though i know na hindi nya ito masyadong maiintindihan (he's only 6yrs old) I know it's his right to know the truth pero I think this is not the right time para sabihin ang mga bagay na yun sa kanya.

Hindi ko naman ipagdadamot na makilala ang totoo nyang ama pero naunahan lang ako ng EX ko at parang hindi na sya nagisip kung ano ang magiging impact nito sa bata. Sa sobrang galit ko humingi ako ng tulong sa parents ko at sinabi ko ang mga nangyari, sobrang galit na galit ang buong family ko sa nangyari and even yung family ng bf ko dahil naaawa sila sa anak ko.

So, what we did is pina blotter namin ang EX ko dahil sa ginawa nya sa bata, and I think It's like threatening na rin dahil sa pagkakasabi nya sa anak namin na kukunin nya ito. Bali sa letter na ginawa sa brgy. it stated there na hindi pwedeng lumapit ang EX ko sa bata at hindi makakalapit ng walang permiso sa akin o sa aking mga magulang, at pumirma sya sa letter.

After a week, me and my parents decided to talk to my EX together with his family para sa annulment pero hindi sila pumunta instead, nagpasabi sila na hindi sila babayad ng kahit ano patungkol sa annulment at about sa bata naman they said na kung kailangan bayaran ang mga nagastos lahat (reffering to sustento) ay ipacompute na daw kapalit ng bata.

These are my questions:

1. If ganon nga, at bayaran nila ang naging dapat sustento nila noon sa bata pwede bang mangyari na magiging kapalit noon ay ang bata? it's like parang babayaran nila or bibilhin nila ang bata. Possible ba yun?

A: That is totally unacceptable. Obligation ng both parenta ang pagpo-provide ng basic needs ng bata.

2. As far as I know, my son is still under my custody pa until he reached 7yrs and that's the time na papipiliin sya kung saan sasama. tama po ba yung pagkakaalam ko na yun o hindi?

A: That is true. But still, the court will decide para sa ikakabuti ng bata.

3. At what age ang bata na considered abadoned? Mawawalan ba ng karapatan ang tunay na ama nya if ever na madeclare na abandoned ang bata? at kung hindi man, may paraan ba para mawalan sya ng karapatan?

A: May ilang conditions para sabihin na abandoned kayo. Check with s lawyer.

4. Pwede ko pa bang iopen ang case na finile namin sakanya before? which is the R.A. 9262 at ang hindi pagsunod sa pinirmahan nyang kasunduan na susutentuhan nya ang bata.

A: Maaring ma buksan ulit ang kaso laban sa kanya. But the will not disolve his right as the father.

5. Kung ako ang mag file ng annulment, do you think may reason ba para maapprove ito?

A: on what ground?

6. Lastly, I just want to know kung meron bang pwedeng ikaso sakin dahil nagkaroon na ako ng bf at nagsasama na kami? (Pls. take note na nagkaroon ako ng bf at nagsama kami after a year na hiwalay na kami at merong kasulatan na merong pirma nya na maghihiwalay kami) I know it's only a letter na ginawa sa brgy. and I know na hindi pa totally void ang aming kasal, pero if that's the case possible bang kasuhan nya ako? kung OO, ano ang pwede kong ilaban about doon?

A: Regardless of agreement, adultery is still possible. Hindi mapapawalang bisa ng kasunduan ang kasal nyo.


I made my story short and brief as possible. So, thank you for those who took time to read my story.

I'm looking forward to hearing from anyone soon.

distressed wife wrote:Hi & good day to all!

May I please ask for an advice on how to handle the distress that I have been experiencing. I found out about my husband's immoral seven (7) years affair last February 2014 thru FB with pictures. After seeing their posted pictures, I got angry and confronted him the next day & asked him to choose between me & his mistress. I was shocked when he chose the other woman, who by the way a call center employee just like him. After choosing her, he yelled at me & told me how bad I am, that it was all my fault why he had an affair. I was like this & like that, all negative comments with a lot of "P.I", that I think no wife could possible bear. I didn't want us to separate, I did knelt & begged for him not to leave us. We have been married for 14 years with three (3) kids. I am not a bad woman, as I know. For your information, I was the one who most of the times support our family, that include paying of all bills, tuition fees & the daily support for most of the times, he's unemployed. We don't have any "kasambahay", so I do all the household chores right after work and during my one (1) day off. From cleaning the house, laundry, taking care of the kids, preparing my kids for school, cooking & takking care of his needs. Which give me no self time while exhausted,,too much. But I did lived with it because that's how I see how should a wife be. Of course there were times when I get frustrated & torn which made me mad, thinking that even when he's employed, he did not support us well. He always says that there a payroll problem, he only give us maximum of Php2,000.00 per pay day as support. He also doesn't come home most of time. I tried to talk to him in a good way but didn't bother. Was it my fault when there were times when I was nasty at him.
Back to his infidelity issue, we didn't part ways because I was too hopeful that our marriage can still be resolved. He then talked to me & told me he wanted to fix our marriage. FYI, he told me that his affair with this mistress is over. I also met his mistress & talked to her civilly, as she denied that she never knew that my husband is married (during our first conversation). But slipped her tongue & told me that she asked my husband about the annulment papers (?). This is the first time I started to doubt whether their affair is really over. There were also time when I open things to my husband like the informations & fact that I frequently see online about them, then after revealing them to him, as I check online about the same info, it's no longer there,,(DELETED? as advised),,,I don't know.His rage towards me did continued as I swallowed all his verbal abuses that greatly tormented me as a person, mentally, physically as my weight lost 22 pounds due to stress and emotionally. I tried still to talk to him & begged for his honesty but he's so hard on his words. If you ask me now how am I doing, I'm still working and taking care of the kids. Still doing the household chores and preparing his needs, as they're all my obligations. But I'm so much torn. I can't focus on how to straighten my life. I am emotionally & mentally distressed. I'm currently working also to improve my physical, to gain weight, because I looked older now than my actual age. I can still feel they are still together though I have no proof. All of their media accounts were locked to private. I don't have any access to his or her friends. I wanted to call the mistress' work & inform them but they may deny it as they already told me that it's over between them. The only present proof I have that they still keep each other is the one media account of my husband which I saw just recently. It was indicated in account that the mistress & her family are his friends. If truly that they broke-up last March, should they have deleted each other as friends? If honest to goodness that they don't communicate anymore.
I was also threatened by my in-laws that incase I separate with their son, I won't be getting any single child of mine. They said that they will get all of my kids & file a case against me due to the physical beatings that I did to my two (2) older children. For your information, I do honestly did bit them but that was few years ago. I did stop already because I personally realized that I can discipline my kids thru proper advice. Even during the time that the affair was fresh, I was emotional BUT honestly did not do any harm to my kids even if they did wrong to challenge my patience. I am happy that this self change I did is one of my fulfillment & willing to continue.
With the the verbal threat & emotional and mental torture that I have been getting, if in any case I decide to file a case against my husband, what case could it be. If in any way, I find out that my husband & his mistress are still together, meaning still continue with their affair even without them leaving together, can I file a case against my husband & his mistress due to the lies, deception & emotional & mental trauma that they HAVE BEEN causing me? If in any case I decide to separate with my husband, will I not have any custody to my children as what my in-laws threatened me?
I do need your advice & help so much...As there's no more self-respect left for me...

Thank you & more power!  

PS. Our two kids knows about his affair as he told them straightforward in their face that he wanted to leave me & he loves his mistress more. But told them to that he & his mistress is now over.
     I also don't know if their married or have a child but they have a marriage ring as also acknowledged by the mistress during our meeting. But I want to know,,,HOW?
     If in the future they will deny about their relationship duration, I also have a proof (in printscreen). The mistress' sister gave all the information during my conversation with her thru FB
     I kept all of their FB posts & pictures.
    On the beatings that I did to my two kids were the result of my 5th chance. I do give tem 5 chances per fault. If they do wrong, I give advice & guide them each time but told them if ever they reach my 5th chance, "papaluin ko sila" In which, my kids were aware of how I discipline them I don't just beat them immediately after each fault. But now, since last year, puro advice na lang kahit masyado na makulit at matigas ang ulo..And I'm happy doing it now..