single moms right

hi, i just want to know as a single mom all my rights pertaining to my kid. I am a single mom for 3 yrs now, i did not marry my kid's dad because we have different beliefs. 1month after i gave birth he just visit the kid and sign the birth cert. after that no more communications at all... of course at that time i am really mad, i changed my number so he wont have a chance to talk to me.. but he knows where i live, my work place, my off work schedule but he did not even bother to do whatever we need to settle. when my kid was 1 yr old i decided to let him visit my kid but again he will visit the kid only when he wants to visit not necessarily as per schedule but then its ok with me, i don't even ask any single cents from him before they (his parent) would give but he himself, no any single cents. now that his married, he wanted to have a custody of our kid (the kid name after me)he even ask for temporary custody wherein the kid should stay with him at least on weekends. of course i wouldn't allow my kid is just 3 yrs old. i give him an option if he wants to visit the kid tell me i will let him bond with his kid. though he tried but recently he never bother to ask hows the kid especially when my kid got sick. they are also accusing me that i won't let my kid see his dad if they won't give any share. i know he has obligations and i perfectly understand his financial needs. its just that of course, my kid also needs financial support isn't it too much to ask him to help me with the expenses of his kid. does my ex has the right for temporary custody?? or if visitation rights what kind of parameters should we look for?? i thought were already ok but after hearing his wife accusing me of those things i had a second thought if i will still allow my kid to see his dad. pls advise me what to do... any single moms not related to this would also appreciate. thanks

as the mother of an illegitimate child you have full parental authority, but the father has visitation rights.

it seems that you have a workable relationship with him, in spite of the snags with the wife. i recommend that you meet, and thresh out details. then put things down in writing and come up with a visitation and support agreement. the details you will need to come up are schedule, costs for education, support and an escalation clause as your child grows. i recommend you go 50-50 on the child's expenses.

if he refuses to support, send a demand letter so you can build a case of economic violence.

if he has visitation right how often can he visit the kid?? if i wouldn't allow him to visit our kid can he file a case against me?? what if i leave the country because of work can he get my kid to my mom since his the father?? pls enlighten me thanks again for your reply

rate of visitation depends on your agreement. it is not a crime to prevent visitation by the father (but by mother it is), but he can file a petition for visitation rights.

he can not get your son as a right, but he can file a case for custody, and between him and your mom, he may have a better chance. parental custody cannot be exercised by proxy.

thanks again for the reply... that's too tough... i wont leave the country instead, if that will be the case

another question, if in case i will get married and my fiance wants to adopt my kid, can we do that without asking the consent of the other party?? the kid was name after me though the father sign the acknowledgment of paternity in the birth cert.

i'm afraid you will have to get his consent to adopt the child, or show that he abandoned the child. you can try to establish this by the lack of support. good luck.

oh my... it seems that whenever we go we could not get out of his shadow...

thanks anyway for your reply.... hopefully we could settle this amicably (i'll keep my fingers cross)