What legal action could we take against our dad who abandoned our mother?

Hi! I am 39 years old, married with 2 kids ages 11 and 2. I have 2 siblings ages 42 and 36, both have their own families as well. My dad, 65, has another woman which we discovered in 1985. He has 5 or more children with his other woman. My mom, 68, being the legal wife, did not want to give up their marriage but in time, became dependent on alcohol due to depression. Sometime during the first quarter of 2012, my mom got sick which doctors diagnosed as pneumonia. When she recovered, we noticed some changes in her which according to the doctors, are signs of Alzheimer's disease. She recalls some details about us, but acts detached and shows compulsive behavior such as eating,drinking fluids and peeing every 5 minutes. Sometimes she is unable to hold her pee. She also mindlessly grabs items and keeps them in different areas in the house. Based on my research, these are actually signs of FTD (Fronto Temporal Dementia) and not Alzheimer. My siblings and I are no longer living with my mom since we already have our own families. When she became sick, my dad started to visit her less frequently until recently, he seems to have totally abandoned our mom and has cut off communication with us. My mom lives alone in their house, my siblings and I take turns checking on her. I am unable to take her to live with my family as we can no longer afford it financially and I don't think I could take care of her given her condition while I have 2 kids who also need my attention. My other siblings are just as hard up as we are. I am so angry at what my dad has done and am wondering if there is any legal action we could resort to in order for him to take responsibility for abandoning our mom and maybe force him to look after our mom and/or to provide her financial support. Please help. Thanks.

The question is if your father will look after your mother would any of you will take care of him? Maybe this is the reason why he choses to stay with his second family! You can easily ask help and endorse your mother to San Lorenzo Ruiz or Kanlungan ni Maria etc. At least you and your siblings can visit her once a week. Your father is now also old you cannot rely on him nor demand this obligation! If you as their children can't do it how much more for an old man? What if it is against your father's will to take care of her as she is now a burden to him, if you and your siblings insisted to do some legal moves and he felt stuck with your plan, what if he decided to end your mother's life? I think your mother is safer to be at Home for the ages!

Thank you for your quick reply. My dad is supporting his second family, which I believe is so unfair as far as his legal wife is concerned. Some of his children from his other woman are now of legal age and should be able to earn a living should my dad decide to support my mother instead. My mother has only a few years left, and my dad owes her so much. He was the cause of my mom's misery, of all our misery and for our broken family. I think it is high time he makes up for all the trouble and heartaches he has caused us. I have contacted home for the ages and they won't accept an elderly if he/she still has a family, unless we opt for the paying center where they house the elderly who can afford to pay around php20k up. As I mentioned, we are all financially hard up and could not afford such amount to pay for shelter. Anyway, you did not clearly reply if there is any legal action we could resort to, which is what I could think of now to at least secure my mother's welfare. I hope you could give an answer to that. Thanks again.

The thing is with the leagal action you wanted to happen, at your parents age as you mentioned they are very old! Your parents are no longer with each other for many years and to file a case against your father it will take many years too! and so you want to send him to jail? that would be in favour to him as its will be like going to home for the ages! Did you solve the problem where to put your mother? NO! There are lots of home for the ages in the Philippines take her to provinces they may accept her there.

IMO only you mother can file a case against your father. it would be better if you will put your resources in the welfare of your mother. kung makakagastos kayo ng pera para kumuha ng abogado para idemanda ang father mo, bakit hindi nyo na lang gastusin yun para sa mother mo?

The reason why I want to know what legal action could be taken against my father is, I want justice for my mother, not so much as to send my father to jail, but to at least make him responsible for what he did to my mother by obliging him to care for her now that she needs him so much. He is the husband and by marrying her, he vowed to love her in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer. If we can pressure him to provide for my mother's needs (both financial and emotional), while he is still able to do so, by some legal action, then we would resort to that. My husband has a lawyer friend who is currently out of the country, and whom we could ask for legal assistance for a minimum fee. I just posted this question in this forum as we are unable to contact my husband's lawyer friend at this time, and I wanted to know other lawyer's point of view on this matter as well. I know that sending my mother to a shelter is the most practical thing to do, but it doesn't appear to be that simple. First, we can't go straight to these shelters as it has to be DSWD who should endorse her to them (am talking about the ones that don't charge a fee). DSWD would have to assess if my mother is qualified for a free shelter. Given the fact that she still has relatives here, makes me think she might not qualify for that. We also considered taking her to the provinces, but because of her condition (she pees every 5 minutes, could not sit still for more than 5 minutes and grabs anything she can find around her because of her compulsive behavior brought about by her disease), I don't think she can travel for a long period of time without bothering other passengers. It would be more convenient for her if she gets to stay in a shelter around metro manila, and so far I have not found one where she could qualify for free. If there is any legal action that could be taken against my father, we might be able to force him to shoulder my mother's expenses in a paying shelter instead of sending him to jail. Gusto ko lang naman sya takutin para i-prioritize nya ang nanay ko instead of his other family. Gusto ko lang naman na sa ganoong paraan, para na ring nabigyan ng hustisya ang ginawa nya sa nanay ko. Hindi ko na mapapalampas pa ang lahat ng hirap at sakit ng loob na ibinigay nya sa nanay ko at sa aming magkakapatid. If we let him get away with his wrongdoings, then it is like telling him that what he did was okay. I don't care if he's already old, somebody has to pay for what happened to my mother. If he can still support his other family, then why couldn't he support my mother?

Anyway, it there is anyone here who could give us information about a free shelter where she might qualify, I would truly appreciate it. Thanks.

Well as concepab said only your mother can file against your father. And the problem you mentioned with your mother peeing every 5 minutes there are pampers for adults and it is easier for you to rent a private transportation if you really wanted to find some place in a provinces for your mother. Some home for the ages are not as strict as in Manila area as they are already crowded therefore the acceptance are limited, but in the provinces, most people who lived there are patient to take care of their elders! so they are highly unlikely to be crowded! If you think your mother is a burden so does your father and if he take care of her who will take care of him if not his other family! He is now old there's no point giving him lesson for abandoning your mother! Afterall you and your siblings should be responsible for them! their time to take care of you and your siblings are over! so it is yours and your siblings turns to take care of them!