pregnant mistress seeking for advice

i have a married bf, and he got me impregnated. My expected date is on Jan next year. Here are the facts:
- alam kong kasal sya, we tried to put an end sa relation namin dati pa cause of the pain. But for some reason, we cannot let go of what we had.
- hindi kami nagssama ng guy sa isang bubong. When i got pregnant he visits me once a week. Sometimes sleeps over.
- he is willing to support me with the the child. and he says he wants to be the one to sign the birth cert of my child.
- he is planning to spill the beans to his family and also to her wife after i deliver the child.
- he promised na walang manggugulo sa amin mag ina once masabi na nya sa side nya. he wants the child be accepted sa side nya. at hndi sya papayag na gguluhin kami ng wife nya or anyone- as what he promised.
- i have no issues if my child will take her father's last name. I want the child be accepted as well ng side nya without causing psychological dilemma sa anak ko because of last name issues.
- he plans to go abroad by february and i as well think that would be best for everyone.
- hndi ko ginugulo un asawa nya about this issue sa katahimikan ko at ng pamilya ko, and im letting the father of my child decides what he thinks is best sa sitwasyon na to.

My questions are:
- once malaman ng wife nya that we have a child, does she have any grounds na kasuhan kami? or just me?
- about the last name, when time comes that my child reaches schooling age and she bears her father's last name, will it cause any legal issues? di ba ako mahhirapan when it comes to legal documentations required?
- is it wise to ask for a written proof as early as now that the father is acknowleding his responsibilities for this child? or pwede naba ang previous chat logs as a proof if in case my situation gets worst.
- he says he wants to be there paminsan to take care of the child pagnailabas ko na. Given that by this time alam na ng asawa nya, pwede ba ako guluhin ng wife (me alone) and worst file a case?

need your advise on my case. Thank you.

baby girl wrote:i have a married bf, and he got me impregnated. My expected date is on Jan next year. Here are the facts:
- alam kong kasal sya, we tried to put an end sa relation namin dati pa cause of the pain. But for some reason, we cannot let go of what we had.
- hindi kami nagssama ng guy sa isang bubong. When i got pregnant he visits me once a week. Sometimes sleeps over.
- he is willing to support me with the the child. and he says he wants to be the one to sign the birth cert of my child.
- he is planning to spill the beans to his family and also to her wife after i deliver the child.
- he promised na walang manggugulo sa amin mag ina once masabi na nya sa side nya. he wants the child be accepted sa side nya. at hndi sya papayag na gguluhin kami ng wife nya or anyone- as what he promised.
- i have no issues if my child will take her father's last name. I want the child be accepted as well ng side nya without causing psychological dilemma sa anak ko because of last name issues.
- he plans to go abroad by february and i as well think that would be best for everyone.
- hndi ko ginugulo un asawa nya about this issue sa katahimikan ko at ng pamilya ko, and im letting the father of my child decides what he thinks is best sa sitwasyon na to.

My questions are:
- once malaman ng wife nya that we have a child, does she have any grounds na kasuhan kami? or just me?
- about the last name, when time comes that my child reaches schooling age and she bears her father's last name, will it cause any legal issues? di ba ako mahhirapan when it comes to legal documentations required?
- is it wise to ask for a written proof as early as now that the father is acknowleding his responsibilities for this child? or pwede naba ang previous chat logs as a proof if in case my situation gets worst.
- he says he wants to be there paminsan to take care of the child pagnailabas ko na. Given that by this time alam na ng asawa nya, pwede ba ako guluhin ng wife (me alone) and worst file a case?

need your advise on my case. Thank you.

Sa ngayon you are still safe from any legal action from the wife because she cannot force you to reveal who’s the real father of your child.. Maliban na lang kung mahuhuli kayo sa akto. Now, once you gave birth and the father signed the BC, it is an opportunity for the wife to file concubinage and child is her best evidence.

I doubt if wife can charge the guy under concubinage as hndi kami nagssama, no scandalous sexual act and i do not live with him as mentioned in the law. So I guess she cannot charge us under concubinage. I have also read that pregnancy alone is not a proof under concubinge as compared to adultery. please correct me if Ian wrong... He wants to take responsibility sa child ko at d ko naman ipagkkait un sa kanya.

You are partly correct and partly wrong. Tama ka na kung hindi kayo nagsasama sa iisang bubong bilang mag-asawa or no scandalous sex concubinage is not possible. Tama ka din na pregnancy alone is not a proof for concubinage. That is why I said “once you gave birth and the father signed the BC”. That’s the opportunity for the wife to rally a concubinage case against you and her hubby. I hope this will clear you up.

Good eve.

I am also in this kind of situation.. Ang sakin lang, I got pregnant when he still single, ngaun hindi pa alam ng bago niang asawa about my pregnancy and we still communicate since un ang gusto nia for our baby na suportahan at di nia tatalikuran ang responsibilidad nia as a father to my soon baby. Ang tanong ko lang pag ba nalaman ng asawa nia pwede nia akong sampahan ng kaso or kame? His siblings new about my pregnancy and they are all accepting my baby..

Xaria24 wrote:Good eve.

I am also in this kind of situation.. Ang sakin lang, I got pregnant when he still single, ngaun hindi pa alam ng bago niang asawa about my pregnancy and we still communicate since un ang gusto nia for our baby na suportahan at di nia tatalikuran ang responsibilidad nia as a father to my soon baby. Ang tanong ko lang pag ba nalaman ng asawa nia pwede nia akong sampahan ng kaso or kame? His siblings new about my pregnancy and they are all accepting my baby..

No, his wife has no legal action, criminal or civil, against you. First, you got pregnant way before they got married. Second, based on your facts he was single at that time. So nothing to worry about unless you still continue to have a romantic relationship with your ex-bf (or bf).

You can be jointly charged with concubinage if any of the following is present:

(1) he keeps his mistress in the house he shares with his wife; or
(2) he lives with his mistress in any other place; or
(3) he has sexual intercourse with his mistress under scandalous circumstances

The aggrieved spouse may also file a civil case for damages against the mistress or lover alone (no need to include the guilty spouse).

The basis for such a complaint is Article 26 of the Civil Code which gives the offended party a cause of action for a third party’s meddling with, or disturbing, a person's private life or family relations.

This cause of action is commonly called "alienation of affection." It seeks compensation for a third party’s malicious act of estranging a person from his/her lawfully wedded spouse or family.

In addition to the civil case for the payment of damages, there are several criminal cases an aggrieved spouse may file to seek imprisonment of a troublesome mistress or lover.  

For malicious comments or posts on the Internet that tend to dishonor or ridicule the offended spouse, a criminal complaint for libel may be filed. If found guilty, the libelous paramour may be imprisoned or ordered to pay a fine, or both.

For disruptive mistresses or lovers who create public disturbances outside the spouses' home or near the person of the spouses or their family, a police officer may be called to arrest the offending paramour on the spot. A criminal complaint for alarms and scandal may thereafter be filed against such a troublesome mistress or lover.

If a paramour should threaten the spouses or their family , a criminal complaint for grave threats may be filed.

A charge of trespassing may also be filed if the offender has entered the family home uninvited.

For your guidance and information.

mrs_scofield wrote:

Xaria24 wrote:Good eve.

I am also in this kind of situation.. Ang sakin lang, I got pregnant when he still single, ngaun hindi pa alam ng bago niang asawa about my pregnancy and we still communicate since un ang gusto nia for our baby na suportahan at di nia tatalikuran ang responsibilidad nia as a father to my soon baby. Ang tanong ko lang pag ba nalaman ng asawa nia pwede nia akong sampahan ng kaso or kame? His siblings new about my pregnancy and they are all accepting my baby..

No, his wife has no legal action, criminal or civil, against you. First, you got pregnant way before they got married. Second, based on your facts he was single at that time. So nothing to worry about unless you still continue to have a romantic relationship with your ex-bf (or bf).

You can be jointly charged with concubinage if any of the following is present:

(1) he keeps his mistress in the house he shares with his wife; or
(2) he lives with his mistress in any other place; or
(3) he has sexual intercourse with his mistress under scandalous circumstances

The aggrieved spouse may also file a civil case for damages against the mistress or lover alone (no need to include the guilty spouse).

The basis for such a complaint is Article 26 of the Civil Code which gives the offended party a cause of action for a third party’s meddling with, or disturbing, a person's private life or family relations.

This cause of action is commonly called "alienation of affection." It seeks compensation for a third party’s malicious act of estranging a person from his/her lawfully wedded spouse or family.

In addition to the civil case for the payment of damages, there are several criminal cases an aggrieved spouse may file to seek imprisonment of a troublesome mistress or lover.  

For malicious comments or posts on the Internet that tend to dishonor or ridicule the offended spouse, a criminal complaint for libel may be filed. If found guilty, the libelous paramour may be imprisoned or ordered to pay a fine, or both.

For disruptive mistresses or lovers who create public disturbances outside the spouses' home or near the person of the spouses or their family, a police officer may be called to arrest the offending paramour on the spot. A criminal complaint for alarms and scandal may thereafter be filed against such a troublesome mistress or lover.

If a paramour should threaten the spouses or their family , a criminal complaint for grave threats may be filed.

A charge of trespassing may also be filed if the offender has entered the family home uninvited.

For your guidance and information.

Hindi naman ako naghahabol on that guy pero sympre masakit sakin na malamang kinasal sya agad without informing me. He said pwede namang akong mag stay sa bahay nila for maybe days when I give birth, is it possible? ayaw ko naman kasing walang tatay ang anak ko. He will go abroad this year, at ung asawa nia ngaun hindi naman sila nagsasama sa iisang bubuong, kung baga nagpakasal lang sila kasi pupunta na ung guy abroad. May habol ba ang anak ko if ever?

Ang hirap lang para samin dalawa ng anak ko.. Ako pa pala ang mapapasama sa ginawa niang pagmamakasal sa iba kung ako din kasama as a victim at nadamay pa ang bata sa sinapupunan ko.

No, don't stay in their house. He is already married, if he'll let you live in their house (shared with his wife), both of you can be charged with concubinage by the wife. Please read my earlier post regarding the elements of the crime of concubinage. If found guilty of this crime, you can be imprisoned.

What you can do is ask financial support from you ex boyfriend. Don't forget also to have him signed the bith certificate as proof of acknowledgment of his paternity and for the child to be able to use the surname of your ex-bf, this may be very helpful in case of succession. As an acknowledged illegitimate child, he/she is entitled to support from the father and is considered his compulsory heir.

I hope this helps. God bless you and your child!