Divorce and child custody (islamic marriage)

Hi, I've got some questions to someone who is expert with the law before making decision regarding my marriage. I'm married to an arab guy. We got married here in the philippines under islamic marriage(sharia law) though i am a christian. My husband went back and stayed to his country until now while me and our son is staying here. With a long distance and lack of trust, we are always having problems in our marriage. And maybe ending up in a divorce. These are my questions if ever we will be having divorce:

how or what will be the process since our marriage was An islamic marriage or under sharia law.? Our marriage is registered in NSO.

How long will be the process? After the process, will I have any document to prove the divorce?

How about the custody of our son? I know that under the law, it will be with the mother but again I read in an article that in islamic law it will be with the father. I can't just give my son to him.

If the cuctody will be given to me, but I will be working abroad, can he get my son if I will be leaving my son to my parents?

I'm convincing myself to stay in these marriage for my son. But everytime we are having problem, i think I'm emotionally abused. I hope you can help with these questions. God bless

regarding your marriage (islam rules) i sugest better ask sharika lawyer for this for better understanding about the divorce in islamic religion.

or ask imam or mutawa. they might have other option for this.

regarding the custody since your not a muslim or under the islamic faith. same rule pa din yan as usual since hndi ka naman muslim.

muslim law reg sa custody ng anak can only be apply sa mag asawang parehong muslim or nasa ilalim ng religion ng islam.
bur since hndi ka naman yumakap or nag shahada ryt??

ikinasal ka lng ayun sa religion at ritual ng hubby mo bilang isang muslim. it doenst mean na muslim kna din.

goodluck.

i remember mutawa told me once.. may period daw yta ang physical na pag hihiwalay ng mag asawa sa islam bago maka pag pa hiwalay ng ayun din sa batas ng islam. 2 or 3 years yta??
im not sure for this.

better seek advice and info. sa baclaran mosque po nag kalt ang mga mutawa:)

pero ingat ingat lng po sa kakausapin.. hndi po lahat ay matuwid na muslim:)

salamu alaikum:)

Thanks for the suggestion s and information.. Hindi po ako nagconvert..at least now I know specially sa custody.. We've been in baclaran before and I don't trust the people we met at nakausap nmin... Anyway, thanks a lot.. God bless

yes as i was saying.. specialy nowadays.. hard to put trust to some1.

anyway.. we have a lots of friends whos imam.. if may time i lift q sa kanya ang concern mo then tru pm send ako sau msg.

goodluck

I'm looking forward to that.. I hope they will give advices and information lalo na at sila tlga expert sa law nila... My mistake of not knowing well about their laws... Thanks again...

ref mo teh.. including grounds sa islam divorce

Ang kasal ay isang sagradong ritwal sa kahit anong relihiyon. Ang babae't lalaki ay pinagsasama sa harap ng komunidad at pamilya, sagisag ng pag-iisa ng dalawang taong dati'y magkaiba. Ang kasal ay tunay ngang mahiwaga sa buhay ng isang tao, isang importanteng parte ng pag-aasawa para sa maramaming Pilipino. Ngunit sa likod ng magagarbong palamuti ng mga Muslim habang sila'y nagpapakasal, may tradisyon itong kaakibat, na inaasahan ng mga kamag-anak nito na ipasa sa mga susunod na henerasyon. Hindi katulad ng inaasahan ng marami, pero ang kasal ay hindi lamang tungkol sa pag-ibig kundi tungkol rin sa tradisyon at ang pagbubuklod ng mga pamilyang maaring makinabang sa isa't isa sa tagal ng kanilang pagsasama.

Ngunit hindi maiiwasan na mayroon ding tumataliwas sa tradisyon. May ibang gustong mag-asawa nang hindi Muslim, kung saan ito'y pinagbabawal sa kanila. Ngunit mayroon din namang mga paraan upang sila'y magsama, katulad ng paglipat sa relihiyong Muslim ng nasabing kabiyak . Ang hindi sumunod sa mga patakaran nila ay may kaparusahang ikinahaharap katulad ng pagpapahiwalay sa dalawa.

Maari rin magasawa ang lalaking Muslim ng taga ibang relihiyon kung magpapalit ng relihiyon ang babae sa Islam. Kung hindi naman, ituturing lang silang kasal sa mut’ah, o sa pansamantalang (temporary) kasal.

sa aking pananaw teh.. kung bagamat ikaw ay hindi na akay ng iyong asawa na yumakap sa kanyang relihiyon bilang isang muslim.

sa kanyang bahagi sya ay may karapatang muling mag asawa. at sya ay may karapatang humiling ng pag sasawalang bisa ng iyong kasal sa kanya.

The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said: "Among lawful things, divorce is most hated by Allah" (Reported by Abu Dawud). The spouses should avoid divorce as much as possible. If they have difficulties and problems they should try to work out their differences and seek help from their relatives, friends, or professional counselors. However, if the differences are irreconcilable then divorce is permissible, but it should be done in a decent manner.

Having said this, divorce however, must not be considered a closed door. There are genuine cases when divorce is the only option available. Here are a few valid reasons:

1. Physical, mental, or emotional abuse or torture. When one of the spouses becomes abusive and inflicts physical, mental, or emotional torture, and is not willing to change by taking practical measures through therapy or counseling, then it is a valid reason for seeking divorce, for the Islamic principle states, “There shall be no inflicting or receiving of harm.” Zhulm (injustice) is not tolerated in Islam, regardless of who the perpetrator is.

2. Failure to fulfill the objectives and purposes for which marriage was initiated. This can be utter incompatibility between the partners, which may be expressed by their irreconcilable differences in temperaments, likes, and dislikes.

3. Marital infidelity. This can be a major cause for dissolution of marriage, for marriage is built on trust and confidence. Its main purpose is to preserve the chastity and modesty of those involved. Once this foundation is eroded and undermined and there is no chance to restore the same, then divorce is the way to go.

4. Failure of the husband to provide. When the man, who is considered the provider and maintainer of the family, fails to shoulder his responsibilities and the wife decides that she cannot continue tolerating his shirking of responsibility, this is grounds for divorce.

Any one of the above-mentioned reasons can be considered as a valid ground for divorce in Islam. If in a legitimate case warranting a divorce a husband refuses to divorce his wife, then she is certainly justified by Islamic Law to approach the proper legal authorities to get a divorce: The judgment of divorce thus rendered by such authorities can be deemed as valid in Islam. May Allah help us all to conduct our affairs with sound wisdom, understanding, sincerity, and faith. Ameen.

Thanks for this useful information.. Will there be hearings like in a court? Does it need for my husband to come here in the philippines for the process of divorce?

A man can divorce his wife simply by saying ‘I divorce you’ three times. He can rescind the divorce if this was done in the heat of the moment, but only if the wife agrees (and only on three occasions!). On the other hand, even if a wife has good reason to seek a divorce (e.g. if her husband has been unfaithful, abused or deserted her, or engaged in criminal activity), she must go to a court for the case to be heard. The husband must maintain a divorced wife and any children from the marriage if the wife is unable to support herself. He can claim custody of any sons when they reach the age of ten. A female divorcee usually returns to her family, and few remarry.


its just a paragraph sa isang reading materials about islam divorce and marriage:)

kung ganyan lng sana kadali hahaha!!

actualy same case tayo maam diane.. hindi pa aq maka pag pa divorce..

kasii.

di pa nya ako sinsagot as bf hihihi:)

Divorce? Agad agad?haha... Sa mga information from u parang madali xia pero sa tlgang process na bka mahirap..2-3years sabi nga ng imam n kkilala mo and to add pa n arab ung husband ko hindi muslim filipino...

actualy muslim have 3 kinds of divorce according to scenaries and reasons..

mas complicated kung tutuusin at mas mabusisi kung iisipin..

kya nga ayaw ko na lng isipin haha:)

actualy may ilan akong nakak usap na imam at kapatid sa pananampalataya at minsang napapag kwentuhan namin ang nangyari sa dragon ball GT episodes:)

este!!

sa usaping divorce pla..

may ilan kanya kanyang opinyon base sa sarili nyang paniniwala:)

yung isa sabi.. pag daw pisikal na hiwalay na ng mahigit 2 taon at walng comunication? mas madali daw mapawalang bisa ang kasal neto by the power of gray skull

yun naman iba sabi.. mas mainam daw kung ang lalaki ang hihiling ng diborsyo at mas mapapa dali daw lalo na kung hndi nya madala sa kanyang pananampalataya ang napangasawa nya.. gya ng case mo:)

di bale i will kip on diging and gather knowlege about this at sa imam ako talaga mag tatanong at hndi dun s amga nag titinda ng pirated na cd haha!

Another useful information.. For sure if ever our marriage will end up in divorce I know my husband will initiate it.. Kindly ask n din about sa custody if my info pa about dun...thanks.. Wag k dn magtanong sa mga nakaupo sa gilid gilid ng golden mosque...nyahaha

well sinabi nga sa paragraph sa nabasa kong tiktik magazine!! este!!

islamic magazine pla:)

halos same din ng rules sa family code natin ang tungkol sa custody.. kapag hndi well fit si mudrabels in terms of financial and physical and mind? naka fudrabels na ang authority.. unlike sa family code natin sa non muslim na si lolabels at lolobels sa mudrabels side ang second na may rights sa mga junakids:)

eto mga mga nakak antok na babasahin for more info:)

eto mas malinaw na ref mula sa aking ginituang bolang kristal ha:)

Divorce is the most hateful thing to Allah, but it is allowed (halal) only in the case of absolute necessity. If a couple tried their best to reconcile their differences, but they still could not agree and they found impossible to live with each other, then only in that case they should separate in a proper and decent manner. Divorce can be initiated by the husband or by the wife.

The husband has the right to pronounce the words of divorce (talaq) to his wife. He can also give her a statement of divorce in writing.

The wife can seek divorce from her husband through khul`, but if he refuses to grant her request then she can seek the dissolution of marriage through the court of law.

The Shari`ah has not given the right to a woman to divorce her husband, because only the husband has all the financial obligations of the family. After divorce he will be responsible to provide her maintenance during her `iddah and if there are any children in the family then he will be responsible for their expenses. Thus to grant her that right equally with the husband while she has no financial obligation is unfair and unjust. The wife can, however, divorce her husband if her husband gave her that right either at the time of marriage or afterwards.

A husband who wants to divorce his wife should use the words of divorce with full awareness after much thinking and consideration. Using the words of divorce in haste or anger is not right. The proper procedure is to give divorce when a woman is not pregnant and is not going through her monthly menstrual cycle. Divorce can take place by saying one time "I have divorced you" (talluqtuki) or "You are divorced" (anti taliq). After this the women should spend the time of her `iddah. During the period of `iddah the husband can cancel his divorce and can resume the matrimonial relationship, but if it does not happen then the divorce takes effect and at the end of the `iddah period their marriage ends. There is no need to repeat the words of divorce more than once. Even one divorce is sufficient to terminate the relationship.

The Stages of Divorce
The number three plays a large part in Islamic divorce. In its early days, a man could simply tell his wife that he divorces her three times, and then they were divorced. As time has passed, this process has grown and adapted, but kept the notion of there being three stages to divorce, and a maximum of three divorces allowed before a couple is prohibited from remarrying

Stage 1: Attempting Independent Reconciliation
In the Quran, one controversial verse states that when a husband wishes to divorce his wife, he must do all he can to reconcile. In fact, he must take three steps. He must first admonish his wife, then refuse to share his bed with her, and finally, beat her. Obviously, a literal interpretation of this doctrine is no longer followed; instead, a husband and wife are simply urged to try and reconcile among themselves before involving anyone else.

Stage 2: Arbitration
If the issues between husband and wife prove intractable, the next step is to bring in two arbitrators, one from the husband's family and one from the wife's. The arbitrators' job is to inject a relatively independent viewpoint. Some sources say other community members who are not related can also take part.

Stage 3: The Waiting Period
Should the husband and wife still find themselves unable to reconcile, Islamic law has one last mechanism: the husband and wife must wait three months before the divorce is final. The hope is that the two parties will find a way to reconcile in this time. Traditionally, the purpose of this waiting period was to make sure that the woman is not pregnant, as it was not lawful for another Muslim man to marry a pregnant woman.

Stage 4: Divorce and Re-Marriage
The rule of threes applies even after the divorce is final. Once the three-month waiting period is over and the husband and wife go their separate ways, they are entitled to re-marry at any time after that. However, they are only allowed to marry three additional times. If the woman marries another man and divorces him before marrying her original husband for the third time, then the marriage is permitted.

may mga big mutawa sa mosque. im sure kabisado nila yan kung paano ang dpt gawin at mga paraan na dapt sundin.

hahaha ganon ba? dun s amga naka upo sa gilid gilid ng golden mosque?

hahaha.. lipat na nga ako tambayan.. hahaha di na ako uupo dun hahaha!!

eto teh favor sau kaya pa lugaw ka naman haha!!
este!!

sopas pala para mas ma hotdog:)

Women have more right to custody of children than men; in principle custody belongs to them, because they are more compassionate and more kind, and they know better how to raise small children, and they are more patient in dealing with the difficulties involved. The mother has more right to custody of her child, whether it is a boy or a girl, so long as she does not re-marry and so long as she meets the conditions of custody. This is according to scholarly consensus.

The conditions of custody are: being accountable (i.e., an adult of sound mind etc.), being free (as opposed to being a slave), being of good character, being a Muslim if the child concerned is a Muslim, and being able to fulfil all obligations towards the child. The mother should not be married to a person who is a stranger (i.e., not related) to the child. If one of these conditions is not fulfilled and there is an impediment such as insanity or having remarried, etc., the woman forfeits the right to custody, but if that impediment is removed, then the right to custody is restored. But it is best to pay attention to the interests of the child, because his rights come first.

The period of custody lasts until the age of discretion and independence, i.e., until the child is able to discern what is what and is independent in the sense that he can eat by himself, drink by himself, and clean himself after using the toilet, etc.

When the child reaches this age, the period of custody ends, whether the child is a boy or a girl. That is usually at the age of seven or eight.

With regard to the effect of travelling on transferring custody, if the parents have separated and are disputing custody, any of the following scenarios may apply to their travelling:

1 – If one of the parents wants to travel without moving, i.e., he or she intends to come back, then the parent who is staying put has more right to the child.

2 – If one of them wants to travel for the purpose of settling there, and the new city or the route is dangerous, then the parent who is staying put has more right to the child.

3 – If one of them wants to move and settle within the same city, and the city and the route is safe,the father has right to the child than the mother, regardless of whether the one who is moving is the father or the mother.

4 – If both parents want to travel to the same place, then the mother should retain custody.

5 – If the place is nearby so that the father and child may see one another every day, then the mother should retain custody.

When the child reaches the age of independence, the period of custody comes to an end, and the period of kafaalah or sponsorship of the young begins, which lasts until the child reaches adolescence or in the case of a girls, starts her periods. Then the period of sponsorship ends and the child is free to make his own choices.

Women’s rights to sponsor children. It appears from the comments of the fuqaha’ that women have the right to sponsor children in general, and that mothers and grandmothers in particular have this right. But the scholars differed as to who has more right to sponsorship if the parents are in dispute and are both qualified to sponsor the child. The Maalikis and Zaahiris think that the mother has more right to sponsorship of the child, whether it is a boy or a girl. The Hanbalis think that boys should be given a choice, but the father has more right in the case of a girl. The Hanafis think that the father has more right in the case of a boy and the mother has more right in the case of a girl. Perhaps the correct view is that the child should be given a choice if the parents are disputing and they both fulfil the conditions for sponsorship.